20 January 2025

overall, you’re cool

   So, the shit hit the fan.
   For a day one, we offer you, dear Americans, a calendar where you can cross off the days until it’s over.

   Some words about us? As artists, whatever people usually think of artists, we’re pretty normal. Some might say midnight talkers, or we sleep too long into a day. Besides, we are hard workers. Look, we are here and there; having a cup of coffee at one of the café parisien, or chit chat over Guiness in a pub in London. We may eat pasta and drink local Brunello di Montalcino in a omitted by tourists trattoria somewhere far enough from Siena in Tuscany, or walk chatting along misty coast of Scotland. Have you ever been to Tallinn, Estonia or Krakow in Poland? One day, take a walk through Japanese park (庭園) among the cherry blossoms. We also like to sit in the reading room overviewing the sea in Louisiana (museum in Humlebæk, north of Copenhagen, Denmark), or looking for the sense of life in one of those New York spots where on a Saturday morning one could still meet those who didn’t yet finish Friday night and others who needed a drink before morning mass.

   Seriously, it’s hard not to like New York. Not to mention how awesome the States are. All these lands, national parks! Jesus Christ! Heaven’s gifts! Well, except those polluted and devastated. You were not the only ones; you actually blew up several atolls but for years the Russkies dumped radioactive waste in rusting barrels into the northern seas. Anyhow, people are so stupid they do it everywhere. However, we like you, Americans. Overall, you’re cool. And we are so sorry that you chose a criminal.

   And for now, the calendar,
   All Best!

21 January 2025

idiot wind

   We listen to Bob Dylan, ‘Idiot Wind’ from the album Blood on the Tracks. Some said it was about relationships with a woman. We don't really believe it, we hear something else; the wind blowing from Washington, or more universally the Wind of Power. We agree with the opinion that this song is an allegory of a soured American dream. Did we say that art discovers problems and perils that civilization is facing?

22 January 2025

shitty piece of reality

   We'll add a few words to our paintings. Don't take this as political commentary, for heaven's sake; we're just hanging out and chatting, mostly about art. But you know how it is; sometimes we get hit with some shitty piece of reality, we try not to get mucky, but hey, we also take a moment to reflect on these miserable events. And we take notes; will share them with you from time to time. Hope, you don’t mind.

   Have a nice day!

23 January 2025

bolsheviks, brownshirts, hallelujah!

   Some say mass clemency was granted to all of the nearly 1,600 January 6 defendants. Good! Let those brave boys run around with machine guns ready to defend their Master, and in the process slaughter lesbians, gays, cyclists, weirdos in rainbow-striped socks, those with pink hair or turquoise sunglasses. Yes, one’s own small army of bull necks, dressed in leather or half naked but with buffalo horns on the head is useful in difficult times – if anyone dares to criticize the Master.

   Earlier, we mentioned the Bolsheviks who would not give up power, and had a militia to beat those who didn’t follow, but there were others called The Sturmabteilung or SA meaning Storm Troops, also called Brownshirts.

   Hallelujah!

24 January 2025

we need no mental viagra

   AI? No, thanks. We need no mental Viagra. We use our own brains.
   Look. We, the artists, spent some time at Universities, and other Academies of Fine Arts. They taught us to make art, also art history, philosophy, some even mathematics. They taught us sensitivity.

   We look for light in paintings, we know how Caravaggio’s chiaroscuro differs from Tintoretto’s Venetian tenebrism, we like cangiante and we can use sfumato, forgive Leonardo. We even know what unione is, but here theoreticians fly into the cosmos of their own mental turmoil, because they didn't have a brush in their hands. Colour is what we deal with; have you ever thought about Andy Warhol as a subtle colourist? We also carefully examine the relationships in the composition, to which we devote special attention, like an American soldier folding a flag to give it to a widow, because some idiot politician sent her husband to war, God knows where and what for.

   In short, we try our best. Our job. Normally, each artist develops their own style, but here we all work together, and everyone is free, so you'll see some diversity. Eclectic? If you insist. We also dig into the latest ideas, sometimes even curators and gallery owners say ‘Hey guys, that’s too far’, but we also reach for the old masters. You will be in the Louvre, avoid the crowd of morons in the queue for the Mona Lisa and go upstairs to see The Four Seasons by Nicolas Poussin. If you want to know more about these paintings, about the Baroque, whoever you ask will refer you to the most distinguished expert, Sir Anthony Blunt. Former Surveyor of the Queen’s Pictures in the Royal Collection, a refined intellectual, was a Soviet spy and gave Stalin what he needed to screw Churchill and Roosevelt at Yalta. We don’t know who is helping Putin to screw POTUS over Ukraine today, maybe a whole bunch of useful idiots, or maybe no one is needed.

   Are we obsessed? Maybe.
   Or maybe we just don’t like Commies and Nazis. Since this muck seems to have settled in Washington in equal proportions, we feel sorry for you, dear Americans.

   So we make our art for you, like we said before – to cheer ya up.

25 January 2025

zuckerberg has pinched all the texts

   Yes, we use it all as it goes; take a bit here and there, some of lyrics, books, whatever comes to mind. We even dare to rummage around the Bible, and all that sacred stuff. And y’all, whoever doesn’t like it, go to Zuckerberg, since he has pinched all the texts in the world.
   We recently mentioned Bob Dylan,

   In the beginning was the Word
   Man gave names to all the animals
   In the beginning, in the beginning
   Man gave names to all the animals
   In the beginning, long time ago
   Man gave the name of Agent Orange
   Long time ago, in Vietnam
   And now, in Washington
   And the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us,

   Amen!

26 January 2025

penguins of madagascar

   Watching these two, we had the overwhelming impression we were watching a new episode of Penguins of Madagascar; Skipper as the boss looks like he thinks he's very, very, very intelligent, and Rico being able to vomit out everything when needed. Worth adding that both are paranoid or psychopaths.

   Hillbilly will also throw up every word that his superior needs.

   You guys, can cast for Kowalski and Private yourself, there's a lot of funny and stupidity around.

27 January 2025

we don’t want to start another religious war

   We've made a calendar for you, but we also want to participate in crossing off the days as we await the joyful end of his reign. We wanted to choose one day of the week, but a problem arose: perhaps Sunday, since the Almighty rested after creation? But it turns out he rested on the seventh day, Saturday, the Sabbath. And in Catholic churches, Sunday is observed for the Resurrection, not for rest. In any case, we do not want to start another religious war, riots and other fights with the undoubtedly participation of the brave Proud Boys and other defenders of various sanctities, so we safely chose Monday – today, however we count, marks a week, i.e. seven days since conception.

28 January 2025

the beauty of me is that I’m very rich

   We wrote about artistic techniques, now a few words about materials. In general we are using canvas and papers; linen by Museo, Flanders Canvas, and Claessens, papers by Fabriano Artistico, Hahnemühle FineArt, Winsor & Newton but also normal brown paper, even copy/print paper, as well as Wenzhou rice paper, Hiromi Japanese papers and similar.
   We deliver our works protected against damage and moisture, as long as the post and couriers take care of the shipments. Please remember to protect them and store securely, preferably framed.

   Besides:
   ‘The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.’

29 January 2025

language disguises thought

   We studied Wittgenstein: ‘Language disguises thought’, hence our interest in language. We've already heard many of the insults and curses he used against those he disliked, but recently new terms have emerged: ‘high-priority criminal immigrants,’ ‘radical indoctrination.’
   He could take lessons from his close buddy Putin, whom he trusts, and would learn: ‘instigators and parasites’, ‘a wretched enemy of the people’ and our favourite ‘a festering ulcer on the nation's body.’ And a lot more.

   Have a nice day!

30 January 2025

ye grapes

   We occasionally pop into our favourite London pub, Ye Grapes in Shepherd Market. Avoiding rush hour, we can chat quietly and enjoy Thai food without breaking the bank.
   Last night, we received a rather mysterious email from a London lawyer who, firstly, requested anonymity (nothing new for us!) and secondly, said he collects contemporary art and likes what we do, but we should meet him to avoid problems. Admittedly, it was intriguing. We mentioned Ye Grapes, which he knew well, so this afternoon we sat in a corner on the red leather couches.
   A nice guy, impeccably dressed, as befits a London lawyer, who had just left the office. He offered us pro bono advice: ‘You guys, shouldn't sell even for a dollar, because online trading is increasingly subject to restrictions and international regulations, regardless of whether you're selling undies, ocean liners, or works of art, and regardless of whether for a million or a dollar.’ He added: ‘Yes, giving something of value for a nominal charge of as little as $1 could open up risk to the U.S. legal system of suing almost anyone. Not to mention the legal costs to fight for justice. All you need is one rich MAGA freak out to drown you in legal defence fees even before getting a date for a court hearing. It might be worth considering, since you're from different countries, to establish jurisdiction in case of a dispute. Honestly, I don't recommend UK. Costly.’
   He smiled, and started digging into his wallet, wanting to pay us a one dollar note upfront, but we immediately refused, offering to give him one painting for free. He thanked us, and after a moment's thought, added: ‘You know guys, maybe it's even a good idea to give these works away for free? You ain't in it for dosh, are you? I’ll think about it and let you know. For now, I think you'd better inform all that the decision to sell has been made, but hasn't been activated yet.’

   Lawyers have a knack for constructing unique concepts, must be admitted.

   We promised at the very beginning that we would keep you updated on sales and delivery details, but in this situation, we ask for your understanding; we are not currently selling.
   We will continue to show everything we do, and we give you, dear American friends, the right to copy and print it for your own use and hang it on your walls. Just to cheer ya up.

31 January 2025

hey guys, you really do have a choice

   Hey guys. You really do have a choice.

1 February 2025

guy heavily slaughtered every day

   Elon Musk publicly declared USAid ‘a criminal organization’.

   That guy doesn’t look too good. Don’t you think he looks stoned? We think he is just heavily slaughtered every day.

2 February 2025

hanging fbi agents from lampposts along constitution avenue

   His administration initiated a sweeping round of cuts at the justice department targeting potentially hundreds of FBI agents and others who worked on cases related to the January 6 Capitol attack.
   We don't know if it's true, but apparently they plan to hang all the FBI agents and police officers involved in this investigation from lampposts along Constitution Avenue. There was one in Italy, he also thought he was great and very clever, and he got rid of all sorts of disobedient people. In the end, they hanged him too, by his feet. His name was Benito Mussolini.

   We, the artists, know nothing about hanging but we read history. The Power that opposes its own security services usually ends up worse off than those services.
   Hallelujah!

3 February 2025

lovely form, isn’t it?

   Another calendar comes in this lovely form, isn’t it?

4 February 2025

prelude to an invasion

   If his tariffs against Canada and Mexico are a prelude to an invasion of these countries, he will drill there.
   Drill baby, drill.

5 February 2025

plaza atlantic city, or maybe brothels

   He said the US would ‘take over’ Gaza and ‘own it’, a pronouncement that was interpreted as a potential endorsement of the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians.
   Will he build casinos there as successfully as Plaza Atlantic City? Or maybe brothels?
   No, he's planning the latter with his buddy Putin in Moscow, some say.

6 February 2025

already?

   His suggestion that the US would ‘take over’ Gaza sparked outrage among Democrats, who slammed the ‘insane proposal’ as a ‘dangerous’ threat to 2 million Palestinians. Congressman Al Green even announced plans to bring articles of impeachment against that fella over the proposal.
   Already?
   We, the artists, will remain jobless.

7 February 2025

straight as a die. hip hip hooray!

   ‘CBS should lose its license, and the cheaters at 60 Minutes should all be thrown out, and this disreputable “NEWS” show should be immediately terminated.’
   Right.
   Listen to the voice of very, very, very intelligent fella, and remember: he is the most trustworthy, just straight as a die.
   Hip hip hooray!

8 February 2025

young and beautiful piece of ass

   If you're already well-known, it's good to have a good media relations. Some people hire PR consultants. He doesn't need one; he's very, very, very intelligent.
   ‘You know, it really doesn`t matter what (the media) write as long as you`ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.’

9 February 2025

gulf of mexico. drill, baby, drill

   ‘We’re going to find billions, hundreds of millions of dollars’, he said, adding he would rename the Gulf of Mexico.
   Drill, baby, drill.

10 February 2025

whatever nonsense he was saying

   And so it's another Monday; those lucky enough to survive can cross off another week. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for the thousands of Ukrainians murdered by Putin, even though that guy promised he'd end the war with a single phone call, in a single day, in a single week, or whatever nonsense he was saying.

11 February 2025

führer

   Elon Musk in the Oval Office claimed the ‘department of government efficiency’s, (Doge) goal was to ‘restore democracy’.
   Wow! He and his chief, the Leader, both seem to know a lot about democracy and certainly understand it.
   By the way, German for Leader is Führer.

12 February 2025

king of the universe

   He announced he would appoint himself chair of the John F Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts and fire multiple members of its board of trustees.
   Right.
   He knows everything about the beauty: 'The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.'
   Besides, we are waiting for him to appoint himself King of the Universe, if that is not too modest a title.

13 February 2025

perfect solution drill, baby, drill

   Inflation rose to 3%. Do you really think he cares?
   He knows a perfect solution: Drill, baby, drill.

14 February 2025

the hillbilly one more time, sorry

   The Hillbilly stunned the Munich security conference by accusing European leaders of suppressing free speech, failing to halt illegal migration and running in fear from voters’ true beliefs.
   This poor guy actually thinks he understands something about free speech. He probably learned it from his superior.

15 February 2025

he'd like to become emperor, asap

   ‘He who saves his Country does not violate any Law,’ he says not knowing the phrase is attributed to Napoleon who eventually declared himself emperor.
   He certainly knows he'd like to become emperor. And ASAP. Preferably tomorrow. For the good of the Nation, of course.
   Hallelujah!

16 February 2025

hillbilly supports neo-nazis

   The Hillbilly supports neo-Nazis in Germany.
   Anything new?

17 February 2025

help yourself!

   It seems you guys really like our calendars. Help yourself!

18 February 2025

do they eat golf balls yet?

   Cookies again, sorry.

   The thing is, we, the artists, even though we studied at various universities and read a lot of books (on paper – you know, white or almost white and rustles a bit), we actually don't follow what's all about cookies. But we've been told that if we don't post the appropriate information on the website, we'll be prosecuted. And it’s not about ICE or other guys in black suits with big guns sticking out, but about various local agencies like MI5, which, as some say, mainly deals with protecting British properties of guys in pyjamas who let visitors out of their countries' consulates on their own or in pieces in suitcases. Or Belgium's terrifying Rijkswacht, currently in disguise. Or the Stadtpolizei Zürich, if they catch you speeding over 1 km/h, they will, after prolonged torture, drown you in the Limmat River. Not to mention the German Schutzpolizei (reinforced by cronies from former Stasi), which until recently was tasked with protecting Nord Stream and other Soviet interests and now having more time, or the French Deuxième Bureau, which will send us to Île du Diable for the slightest cookie violation – and no one will write J’Accuse…! And there is also the Polish president, as some say, a pimp and a thief of elderly people's apartments – if we don't follow rules of cookies, will send us straight to El Salvador just to suck up to his buddy in WH, as well as Hungarian secret police, and if they catch one, will send to Putin to be devoured.
   So maybe it’s better with alligators in Florida? Do they eat golf balls yet?

   In all seriousness, we try our best to feed Cookie Monster and satisfy all his desires, well, except maybe the sexual.

   Bon appétit!

19 February 2025

if you are poor, go to hell

   Federal workers who were on their probationary periods were fired indiscriminately across various agencies leaving gaps in aviation, nuclear safety, national parks, food safety and a host of other government jobs.
   Right.
   Why the hell do we need some fucking aviation or nuclear safety? National parks will grow, and food is good if you’re rich enough. If you aren’t, go to hell. Simple? Simple.

20 February 2025

independent agencies, do they still exist?

   He signed an executive order to expand his power over independent agencies.
   Do they still exist?

21 February 2025

long live the king!

   ‘LONG LIVE THE KING!’ that fella said of himself.
   What modesty.

22 February 2025

seriously?

   ‘Trump’s acolytes, riding high after one month of slash-and-burn rightwing governance, gathered for the Conservative Political Action Conference. Elon Musk appeared in sunglasses and a black Maga hat and wielded a chainsaw’.

   Seriously?

23 February 2025

just read nineteen eighty-four

   He asked the supreme court to let him fire the head of a federal agency that protects government whistleblowers. This is the last time he is asking, next he will fire the supreme court.
   You guys are lucky, you don’t need crystal ball, you know your future; just read Nineteen Eighty-Four.

24 February 2025

have a nice day!

   Monday brings a new calendar. Grab a pen and cross off another week.
   Have a nice day!

25 February 2025

friends of my friends are my friends

   Yesterday, the US joined Russia, Belarus and North Korea in voting against an EU-Ukrainian resolution condemning Russia on the third anniversary of its full-scale invasion.

   Friends of my friends are my friends, some say.

26 February 2025

he’s gonna invade canada

   So, he’s gonna invade Greenland and Canada. As far as we know both are NATO members, so when US troops will invade, other US troops will fight against… US troops.

   Right.

   ‘You're an idiot, babe
   It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe’

   /from Blood on the Tracks; hope Bob Dylan will forgive, we think we can cut out any pieces we want, since Zuckerberg has pilfered all ever written/

27 February 2025

drill, baby, drill

   Drill, baby, drill
   This psycho seems to really enjoy watching others suffer. Birds... he doesn't give a shit.

28 February 2025

bon appétit!

   And we got what we deserved! Because of cookies! More specifically, of what we wrote on February 18 about the police and various secret services in Europe that could punish us for cookie oversights. One gentleman wrote that we omitted Italy, Scandinavia, and Spain.
   Let us explain: in Italy, there's no problem. If you get caught, you say your uncle is in the mafia, and the policeman instantly turns into an ornithologist, searching the sky for sparrows or pterodactyls until you're far enough away. Carabinieri and secret service agents not afraid of the mafia don't have time because they're chasing tankers of used engine oil, which miraculously turns into extra virgin olive oil. The few remaining are looking for chemists who can replace the stench of used oil with the scent of freshly cut grass, almonds and other green vegetation.
   Scandinavia, well – if someone has a problem with cookies, they feed him or her to polar bears starving because of... you know, drill, baby, drill. And in Spain, everyone's on the beaches catching immigrants. Anyone returning to the police station instantly becomes busy collaborating with the Carabinieri in stinking engine oil/extra virgin oil matters as these are international issues; even Angela Merkel had one at table of her favourite restaurant in Berlin. Whether this had anything to do with her fondness for Putin – we, the artists, really don't know.

   If you're curious about our opinions on other law enforcement agencies responsible for crimes related to our friend Cookie Monster, we'd be happy to share.
   We assure you that we feel safest in Liechtenstein, where there are about 30 police and five (yes, believe us, five!) secret agents – all busy checking who's leaving the bank with a suitcase so heavy they can barely carry it. And this time, it's not about a dismembered corpse.
   We recommend the Käsknöpfle with caramelized onions and a side salad. Local wine goes perfectly with.

   Bon appétit!

1 March 2025

what a shame! two little sly guys

   Have you seen it? What a shame! Two sly guys with sticky little hands tried to trick a hero into some shady deal. They were bawling, waving their paws, pretending to be smart alecks, which they are not. Just idiots, sly types. Real losers.

   Shame. As a consolation, you are not alone. Your brothers-in-arms by a pond; the Prime Minister was BoJo-the boozer. During the Covid restrictions with the ban on meetings, he organized a party in Downing Street, he himself barely stood in front of the famous black door of No 10 with a drink in his hand and held on to the fence. Later, there was lettuce. Yes, as PM. Or something of a sort.
   In Hungary they have a fat thief who sold out to Putin a long time ago, and now he wouldn't mind invading Ukraine from behind. He only sticks to the EU cause it's easier to steal there.
   Slovakia has also joined the useful idiots. The Romanians are being equally pressured by Putin and those two swindlers from the Oval Office.
   Germany traditionally has a Chancellor, what sounds proud. One signed a contract with Putin days before the end of his term as a Chancellor to the detriment of Europe, and days later joined the board of directors with Russkies. Got millions, what is obvious. The last one, called Olaf Scholz, was sort of weak-minded; after Putin’s attack on Ukraine, he thought for a long time until he finally made a bold decision to help Ukrainian army as all others, and sent… helmets. Too bad not sanitary pads.

   In short, as a consolation, there are morons everywhere. Maybe this one, also weak-minded but with rockets, could take them all to Mars? And he himself too, of course. Sounds good.

   And those two are real losers.

2 March 2025

his close buddy putin

   Some news: on the advice, or maybe on the orders of his close buddy Putin, he's gonna give him half of Ukraine. Hey, man, but Ukraine doesn't belong to you! Maybe you could give your buddy something of yours? Maybe Alaska, unless there's Bagram Air Base.

   ‘You're an idiot, babe
   It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe’

3 March 2025

brand new calendar

   It’s Monday; brand new calendar.

4 March 2025

land of hope and dreams?

   The fallout continued from Zelensky’s disastrous Oval Office meeting. Senator Chris Murphy said Trump’s White House had in effect become ‘an arm of the Kremlin’.
   Land of Hope and Dreams?
   We hope The Boss will forgive us.

5 March 2025

avoid being hit by splattering shit

   We've already written about painting techniques and the materials we use. And a little about art. It's time for a few words about what $1 Art for America is doing and why. Of course, this isn't about mocking those two clowns in the White House; they're mocking themselves. We strive to paint the ultimate perfect painting – as every decent painter on planet Earth, a monumental work of art, and we're using those two merely as a vehicle, just like researchers for a cure for cancer use mice. By the way, pity the mice.

   We started with very simple images, like school posters with portraits. Now we're starting to simplify, but also complicate, searching for form and structure until we arrive at a painterly synthesis.

   We follow in the footsteps of these greats; we strive for light in painting like Tintoretto, except that he sought divinity, trying to find the depths of biblical events and present them as he imagined them, while we observe reality as if through a pane of glass. We don't delve into it, why would we? We know that politics stinks and politicians are generally boringly predictable; they express views based on polls, looking out for their party's interests, and mostly, their own. In democratic countries, political life is short, life goes on, and one must take care of one's future. Renovating house at taxpayer expense, an additional apartment in a prestigious district for those few years spent on the government, and high incomes from doing nothing in future. This is the case in London. In Italy, successive prime ministers and ministers are linked to the mafia, not to mention the Vatican, which is busy covering up sex scandals and financial frauds. In totalitarian states, power tries to stay forever, and allows the most loyal to steal. In other words, it buys loyalty by allowing others to steal. What the hell could be interesting about that?
   That clown is a different story. If a politician causes a mess in Rome, London, or anywhere else, it's more likely to be local. He can cause a global mess that affects everyone. Usually considered the leader of the free world, sounds proud. Now, bulldozed his way to power, and goes off half-cocked making a mess of things.
   Look at the Madonna dell'Orto, a church in Venice, and Tintoretto's Adoration of the Golden Calf in the apse. It’s all about it. Just like this short AI video showing Trump’s golden statue in Gaza converted to the resort. He saw it, reposted the video, and he didn't do it as a satirical joke.
   Look at the other Adoration of the Golden Calf by Nicolaus Poussin, the same shine.

   Why does this seem worth our attention?
   Tintoretto's mannerism and complex compositions, distorted perspective and expression, and the Baroque Poussin with all its drama and splendor are brought together in this single video as a caricature of modernity. This contemporary reality isn't creating some new eclecticism, but a garbage can, a waste container. The leader of the free world wallows in such a cesspool, while we, the artists, hide behind the glass to avoid being hit by splattering shit.
   Enjoy!

6 March 2025

zuckerberg committed the greatest theft

   Since Zuckerberg committed the greatest theft of works of art in human history by ‘pirating’ millions of books and is not behind bars, we believe that we can also use one sentence without asking anyone for permission. With the hope they ain’t gonna send us to El Salvador.
   Moreover, Zuckerberg stole from resources of Soviet provenance.
   We amiably copied this sentence from a book, believe or not – a paper one. What's the deal? Some ask who we are. So take this sentence, make ‘me’ in plural and here it goes: ‘If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.’

7 March 2025

small loan of a million dollars

   ‘My father gave me a small loan of a million dollars.’

8 March 2025

it's a wonder that you still know how to breathe

   He said he found it easier to deal with Russia and appeared to sympathize with Vladimir Putin after massive Russian air strikes that followed the decision to stop US intelligence sharing with Kyiv. Putin was ‘doing what anybody would do.’

   ‘You're an idiot, babe It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe’

9 March 2025

a diligent student

   He said he would sign an executive order barring student loan forgiveness to public servants engaged in ‘improper activities’. He learned this concept from his good friend Vladimir. A diligent student.

10 March 2025

50 shades of psycho

   Day 50. Fifty Shades of Psycho.
   And like every Monday, a new calendar for you. Remember, cross off another week, just like we do.
   We've mentioned before that we'll be here frequently for the first 50 days; we were there every day! Soon, we'll give you, and ourselves, a little break. Chill, we ain’t disappearing.

11 March 2025

your choice

   Look, guys. Just a few days ago we mentioned the hope they ain’t gonna send us to El Salvador. Not us, yet, but they caught a guy who doesn’t like something that the authorities like. That is called Communism. Or Fascism. Your choice.
   Columbia University graduate and a lawful US permanent resident. He graduated in December with a master’s degree from Columbia, was arrested in New York and sent to a detention center in Louisiana. For now.
   A federal judge in Manhattan ordered the government not to deport.
   They don’t give a shit.
   That is called Communism. Or Fascism. Your choice.

12 March 2025

travel broadens the mind

   France. This time we're sitting in an eatery in this old, forgotten stone town in southern France – time-trapped, a bit off the Côte d'Azur. The owner, a grizzled Brit with a cross necklace and thick Yorkshire accent, shares his tale: ‘Back then, them seaside spots turned into proper phone-booth-free zones come winter. They'd yank the phones out – vandals trashed 'em anyway, and nobody used 'em off-season. Spring rolls 'round, they'd pop 'em back in. Now everyone's got their own bleedin' phones, and the Yanks are listenin', the Chinese are watchin', and the Russkies are pumpin' out propaganda. And you lot artists? You're all bloody nuts!’
   He waves his hand, goes to the back saying ‘They will serve you.’

   A pretty local girl, and her Spanish boyfriend: ‘No tourists yet, just locals occasionally organizing weddings or family gatherings. We work, the old man is a bit dopey. Once was a priest, but was fired’, they say.
   We sit outside, a few tables, warm, nice, sunny. On the other side a dog is marching, wagging its tail. Otherwise, no one.
   We drink local rosé, Domaine de la Croix. We talk briefly about what we do.
   Suddenly, the innkeeper emerges from the back, overhears ‘Trump’, raises his hand like a preacher, and intones gravely: ‘We shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump’. He pauses, eyes twinkling, then drops: ‘1 Corinthians 15:52’.
   And so, in that moment of inspiration, probably straight from heaven, we turned our attention to our sin – our original sin, one might say. We promised you something for each day of his miserable term. Now, as we make plans for tomorrow, we already know we won't keep our word. What's the conclusion? Don't trust not only politicians, but artists too.
   Sometimes.

   Some say travel broadens the mind. Even off-season to south of France.

13 March 2025

wonna fight for social justice?

   We're still in the south of France, heading towards Avignon.

   Pablo Picasso was an outstanding painter, full stop.
   Marcel Duchamp as well, même.

   The first half of the last century was an interesting time. The second half, too. And every half of every century, too. But the first half of the last century was a time of breakthrough in art, when a somewhat odd division emerged between art 'after Picasso' and 'after Duchamp’.
   Picasso painted many groundbreaking paintings, although he sometimes found inspiration, to put it mildly, from the works of Georges Braque. Together, they created the theory of Cubism – by eliminating space and showing the object on the canvas simultaneously from all sides – Cubism approached abstraction. But it was Picasso who painted Les Demoiselles d'Avignon, which, as we all know, isn't about that city itself, but about les demoiselles from the street of that name in Barcelona where Picasso lived and used the services of local prostitutes. He originally wanted to title it Le Bordel d'Avignon.
   So much for art history: the last time we were at MoMA, the painting was hanging just at the entrance to the main museum's halls. We'll write about Duchamp another time, même.

   Picasso was a communist. In public statements, he explained that his political commitment stemmed from his belief that art must be a tool in the fight for social justice and should not be ‘mere entertainment’.
   Good.
   But should one join the Communist Party and paint a posthumous portrait of Stalin – the greatest criminal of the 20th century, next to Hitler? Besides, what is the measure of ‘greatness’ here? According to Stalin, ‘the death of a man is a tragedy, the death of millions is a statistic’.

   Our advice: if, fellow Americans, you want to fight for social justice, don't necessarily join the Communist Party USA, même.

14 March 2025

we good, ain't we?

   We fought, but hey, sometimes you have to accept defeat – we give up! Cookie Monster defeated us.
   Imagine the nightmares as cohorts of the ICE, with the support of Stadtpolizei Zürich, MI5, Stasi and Deuxième Bureau, drag us to be crucified or guillotined, and our remains are thrown to the alligators in Florida! After sleepless nights, no sex, no food, exhausted – we’ve hit a wall.
   So we meekly fill out the cookies form, tail between legs, and try to move on as if nothing had happened.
   Only consolation – he's old, ugly, and stupid. And we're young and beautiful. And that's just who we are.
   We good, ain't we?

15 March 2025

he doesn't give a shit

   A federal judge ordered his administration to stop using an obscure wartime law to deport hundreds of Venezuelans without a hearing, ruling in an emergency order that any deportation flights that had already departed from the US needed to return.
   Do you really think he cares? He doesn't give a shit.

16 March 2025

spirit of majesty

   He spoke from a specially constructed stage in the great hall of the main justice building, in front of a velvet blue curtain that notably hid away two art deco statues depicting the ‘Spirit of Justice’ and the ‘Majesty of Justice’.
   Right
   There is only one ‘Spirit of Majesty’. His Majesty.

17 March 2025

what a beautiful sunny day

   Monday morning. What a beautiful, sunny day. Ready for the next calendar?

18 March 2025

i don’t care what the judges think

   ‘I don’t care what the judges think’

   Again, that is called Communism. Or Fascism. Your choice.

19 March 2025

tariffs, cheers!

   He threatened to escalate a trade war with the European Union, saying that he could impose 200% tariffs on European wine and champagne.
   Right.
   For him, no problem; he will get an unlimited amount of vodka for free from his close buddy Vladimir.
   Cheers!

20 March 2025

50 shades of psycho – special

   It took us a few days, but this kind of occasion definitely calls for a celebration! 50 shades of psycho – special.

21 March 2025

communism or fascism your choice

   We wrote briefly a few days ago: ‘”I don’t care what the judges think” – that is called Communism. Or Fascism. Your choice’.

   Symbols of Communism and Fascism often appear in our works. These systems were based on lies, as is the contemporary so-called right-wing narrative. We, the artists, dislike lies, dislike authoritarianism, dislike wars. Because we know the history of art quite well. Painting from all epochs is, one might say, marked by suffering and saturated with the red of blood. Vermilion – based on a mineral pigment made of mercuric sulphide, used since antiquity. Venetian Red – a natural pigment based on iron oxide, favoured during the Renaissance by artists such as Titian, Tintoretto, El Greco to render lifelike skin tones and deep shadows. Carmine – favoured by painters deep red, the colour of dried blood, was made from a dye obtained from rather disgusting bedbugs. Cinnabar, Indian Red, Rose Madder and so on – these are colours created centuries ago. In religious art, this colour signified sacrifice and martyrdom. In Renaissance painting, but not only, it symbolized life energy and health. It also appears in emotional and romantic scenes, as it's the colour of passion and love. But it also symbolizes power, might, and wealth – kings, popes, and cardinals wore red robes. And let's not be surprised that it somehow stuck with totalitarian regimes.
   It's also the colour of the somewhat weird symbol of the Communist Party USA – a combination of a cogwheel, the remains of the Soviet sickle, and, of course, a hammer for bashing in the heads of the disobedient.

   Btw, the party's presidential candidate in 1932 spoke of creating a ‘Soviet America’ in which all other parties would be dissolved and the media would be placed under government control.
   Sounds familiar?
   We'll write about the institution of lies soon. We need some fresh air.

   Make America Great Again.

23 March 2025

worth having on the wall

   Some say our calendar is worth having it on the wall to cross off the remaining days.
   Here you are! Cheers!

24 March 2025

education is not needed

   He signed an executive order instructing the education secretary to begin dismantling the Department of Education. He declared his administration would ‘take all lawful steps to shut down the department’.
   Right.
   Education is not needed. All you have to know is that he is very, very, very intelligent.

25 March 2025

everyone knows these two are lying

   We recently wrote about systems based on lies. Everyone knows these two are lying.
   Let's ask a question, why? Because that's their nature? Because they’ve always lied? Because they can't do otherwise?
   Frankly, we, the artists, don't care much about this. You want to know, send them both to the couch or to the prosecutor's office. We understand that politicians lie in campaigns to gain power, spit on their opponents, and promise the moon. But here and now – they already have power, political opponents have already been spit on – it must be about something else. And that's much more interesting.

   With what we do you often see the swastika, the hammer and sickle, Hitler and Stalin. Because they are their main, how to put it, mentors. We've already mentioned Mein Kampf, that's what Hitler wrote. ‘...in the big lie there is always a certain force of credibility; because the broad masses of a nation are always more easily corrupted in the deeper levels of their emotional nature than consciously or voluntarily. And thus in the primitive simplicity of their minds they more readily fall victims to the big lie than the small lie, since they themselves often tell small lies in little matters but would be ashamed to resort to large-scale falsehoods...’
   Sounds familiar?
   During Stalin's time, official lies, manipulation of the truth, and propaganda were the foundation of political and social life. They systematically promoted an idealized image of the state and its leaders, concealed crimes, disasters, and failures, and presented all failures as the government's successes.
   Sounds familiar?
   Back then, there was no Wikipedia, but Russia did have printed encyclopedias, say, something like the Britannica. The difference was that every change in power, especially when the authorities themselves murdered one of their own, meant that the entire circulation of 50,000 to 100,000 copies had to be ‘corrected – inappropriate pages torn out, new ‘corrected’ pages pasted in, photos of former comrades retouched with the little brush. This certainly doesn't sounds familiar, but listen to the rules of the time: all communication (press, science, art, literature) was strictly controlled by the authorities. Crossing the official line risked repression. Fake news was spread both within the country and abroad. Disinformation was institutionalized – special agencies existed to produce it. Criticism, or telling the truth risked arrest. Breaking and distorting facts became a systemic norm – lying was treated as a tool of power. People lived with a constant sense of uncertainty, because reality was created by the authorities and often drastically differed from the facts.
   Does this sounds more familiar now?
   And what about Putin's times today? The principles and customs of lying and manipulation include broad state control over information, aggressive propaganda, and sophisticated disinformation – especially through digital channels. The government tightly controls most media, cracks down on independent voices, and laws criminalize speech against the official line. The state systematically promotes its own narratives, and aggressively silences critics. The Kremlin uses rapid, repetitive spreading of contradictory or blatant falsehoods across multiple channels – TV, websites, fake accounts, and bots – to confuse, distract, and control public opinion. Claims are made that blatantly contradict facts or reframe reality, often with emotionally charged, myth-based narratives about national strength and existential threats. Expressing dissent is risky; activists and journalists face threats or imprisonment.
   And what about now? Sounds familiar enough?
   As for dessert: Unlike in Stalin’s times, these techniques are now more global and make heavy use of digital tools. Putin’s government makes no secret of its blatant lies, aiming to sow confusion and distrust through repetition and brazenness.
   But hey, look – states, lies, propaganda, disinformation... Few governments and their establishments around the world are innocent of this. Equally, due to design, AI is adept.

   Make America Great Again.

26 March 2025

50 shades of psycho – one more time

   50 shades of psycho one more time. Looks like you chaps really dig it!

27 March 2025

shady cemetery deals with goats

   We've been hearing about this for a while, but honestly, we thought it was fake. It turns out he actually buried his ex-wife on his golf course and grazes goats there to lower his taxes. He's saving millions, according to those who know about taxes. We, the artists, know nothing about taxes, shady cemetery deals, or goats.

   But we can give you, fellow Americans, some advice if you want to avoid taxes. Even if none of your loved ones have died, we hope, but maybe it happened to a neighbor or friend – borrow a corpse, turn your garden into a ‘cemetery’, and graze a goat. It'll come in handy, saving you time mowing the lawn. Also, make up a story about supposedly losing big money years ago. Go to your local clerk and claim it all as tax deductions, demanding that the IRS pay you, not you paying them. Simple, right? And if, God forbid, such a damned clerk develops any doubts, yell at him for being a far left winger, because his doubts are essentially a brutal communist-leftist attack on a Honorable Highest State Office, and you'll immediately report it to the FBI, CIA, NSA, ICR, other TLA this moron clerk never heard about, plus the Pentagon, not to mentioned Vladimir.
   The louder you yell, the better.
   Will work, you'll see!

   What's next? Don't ya know? And we, the artists, though we don't have a crystal ball, do! He'll develop this big and beautiful graveyard business. He'll sell places on the second hole to his billionaire buddies. Special promotion! Just for you! You’ll be happy to be buried there! And before, you'll get a beautiful bill passed that will lower your taxes. 10 million upfront, plus 30% of tax deduction. When it turns out he's sold so many on that one hole that they won't fit anyway, what will happen? Nothing. He'll start selling on the third hole. And so on. More and more expensive, and for a spot on the green, a billion! Cash only!

   So, guys? In need of an investment advisor?

28 March 2025

get lost, fraudsters!

   All month long, the press has been reporting on the White House's lies about the increase in fentanyl smuggling from Canada. We've written about lies as a method of exercising power in depraved authoritarian systems several times recently, and frankly, we're getting fed up.
   Of course, you might suspect they're lying because they have something in mind: tariffs? Or some other shady trick? Sod them. Get lost, fraudsters!

   But beware, our Canadian friends, especially those near the border. When you see flocks of pterodactyls approaching, it could be something more sinister – your friends!

   Make America Great Again.

29 March 2025

green dragon inn

   It's a lovely spring, the birds are singing beautifully, and we're wandering through the picturesque, fairytale Cotswolds. If you ever come here, drink to our health at the 17th-century Green Dragon Inn or any of the hundreds of other charming places.

   We spotted the house where Sir Lawrence Tanfield lived in the 16th century, as a plaque informs. We'd never heard of him, and his story wouldn't have interested us if it weren't for his title: Lord Chief Baron, and so on. We wonder if psycho we are dealing with would be satisfied with such a title. Perhaps if we added Master of the Universe and Ruler by the grant of God Almighty, Reigning Joyfully over us, or something of a sort.

   And as for birds, we know he hates them, because without them, no one would bother him drilling wherever he pleases.
   Drill, baby, drill.

30 March 2025

what a relief!

   Day 70. Phew! what a relief, for all those still alive, not imprisoned, not fired.
   Remember to cross these days off!

31 March 2025

it’s good to have friends

   That fella mused about running for a third term, something that is prohibited by the US constitution. ‘Well, there are plans’, he said during an interview on NBC’s Meet the Press. ‘There are – not plans. There are methods – there are methods which you could do it, as you know.’ He declined to give details on how he would execute such a plan.

   If any doubts, he can always ask his good buddy from Kremlin for advice on how to handle such matters, or other close friend Kim, North Korea. Some say it’s good to have friends.

1 April 2025

stoned, and being a cheesehead

   Elon Musk Being A Cheesehead.
   No, it’s not April Fool’s Day.

   It’s a proof that America is a country of great opportunity; even a moron like him can become this rich.

2 April 2025

I'm not joking

   ‘I'm not joking’, media reports as he says about seeking a third term in office, despite the constitutional barriers.
   'You know, it really doesn't matter what the media write as long as you've got a young, and beautiful piece of ass.'

   Constitution? He can fix it in a day, just as many other issues.

6 April 2025

shades – you really like it!

   50 shades – looks you guys, really like it!

7 April 2025

hello everyone!

   Monday morning! Hello everyone! Here's a new calendar for you!

8 April 2025

idiot wind again

   He proudly imposed a 10% tariff on Heard and McDonald Islands, remote Australian territories inhabited only by penguins. This caused a great stir among their friends, the Penguins of Madagascar; Skipper suggested immediate attack on whatever, Rico vomited out a tank, just in case, Kowalski and Private are still contemplating this situation.
   We, the artists, remain strongly influenced by ‘Idiot Wind’ from the album Blood on the Tracks:
   ‘You're an idiot, babe
   It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe’.

9 April 2025

as real as his ridiculousness

   We received a complaint that we were inventing absurd titles from the ancient past in some Cotswold town to ridicule the President.
   We're not ridiculing anyone, for heaven's sake. He's ridiculing himself, and we're just watching.
   And the plaque we mentioned on March 29th is as real as his ridiculousness.

   Although ultimately, it's not funny.

10 April 2025

pandora's box, enjoy!

   Pandora's box, that's what we have prepared for you today. You've probably wondered what it might look like more than once; well, thanks to $1 Art for America, you can finally see it!
   Enjoy!

14 April 2025

the time flies, they say

   The time flies, they say. Next calendar, here you are.

17 April 2025

dentist appointment. how about art?

   We, the artists, know nothing about tanks and other ballistic devices, but we do try to understand language, especially since the studies of Wittgenstein: ‘The limits of my language are the limits of my world.’

   Because we heard about the Budapest Memorandum, we read it; neither long nor difficult. The USA, UK, and Russia pledged to respect the sovereignty and territorial integrity of Ukraine and to refrain from any threats of force against its independence and territorial integrity. Unfortunately, it lacked the sentence that in the event of a violation of these agreements by Russkies, the Americans would immediately drop an atomic bomb on Moscow and wipe out the Russkies from the face of the earth. And without such a provision, for Putin, a close friend of your so-called Leader (Führer in German), such a piece of paper is a piece of shit, so he invaded Ukraine and is busy murdering people there.

   What's with the semantics here? He called this war a ‘special operation,’ and anyone in Russia who says ‘war’ is sent to the Gulag as a terrorist. It's like going to your neighbour’s house, hacking his family to death with an axe, setting his house on fire, and saying, ‘Dentist appointment.’

   A further problem is that your so-called Leader (Führer in German), repeats Putin's lies as his own thoughts. Incidentally, the suspicion that he has any thoughts at all seems unfounded; he's more likely driven by rage, greed, sexual urges and other unstable emotional states.

   We mention this because our goal, a difficult one, we admit, is to depict precisely this state of suspension between lies, propaganda, and common sense and the ability to see things as they are. And that we also happen to giggle and have a good time? The aforementioned Wittgenstein said: ‘A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.’

   How about art?

20 April 2025

our pandora's box

   It looks like you enjoyed our Pandora's Box.
   Thank you!
   You'll receive it in different versions today and for the next two days.

   Have fun! And take care!

21 April 2025

gregorian calendar into donaldian

   Did you know that the Julian calendar was the one introduced in the year 46 BC by Julius Caesar to all of the Roman Empire, and it is the calendar that was used during the life of Jesus Christ?
   Now, you know.
   Do you know that the Gregorian calendar is the calendar we are using now during the life of HIM? Of course, you know, but be aware it may change one day into Donaldian calendar.
   Hallelujah!

22 April 2025

back to pandora

   What do we, the artists, know about Pandora? Painting, somewhat familiar to us, has for centuries fed humanity with images of events and figures, and in the process, explained or distorted reality. Today, social media handles the latter, commissioned by guys like Musk, Putin and all the rest.
   Look: for centuries, the Almighty was depicted as an old man with flowing gray hair and a beard, as if heaven didn't have razors and a barber. Today, the Kremlin is telling us that Putin is a nice guy, even though he's going bald and beardless, but he's conducting a ‘special operation’ in Ukraine against the fascist Zelensky, who has 4% support. And the idiot in the White House keeps repeating this, though he sometimes notes that they're simply murdering innocent people and destroying everything there, like Hitler did a little earlier.
   Back to Pandora, we must mention theft and wicked men, trying not to apply mythological events to modern times, even if they come to mind. It happened this way: when Prometheus stole fire from heaven, Zeus, king of the gods, retaliated by gifting Pandora to Prometheus' brother, Epimetheus. Pandora's husband also participated in the opening of this box, which appears to have been neither a box, nor a jug or barrel. Moreover, it is not entirely clear what it contained.
   One way or another, contemporary popular culture seems to have perpetuated a particularly unfavorable version of events for Pandora, which only stigmatizes her. The mythological times were clearly not ready for #metoo.
   Is that clear? Not quite. Never mind.

   Anyhow, our Pandora's Box as promised.

23 April 2025

pandora's box one more time

   Pandora's Box one more time.

24 April 2025

political obsessions

   You're asking again if we have any political obsessions.
   Political, no. Obsessions, probably yes. Like everyone else. We, the artists, don't like commies and fascists, cheaters, liars, and the like. That's just a slight deviation.
   We don't engage in politics, but we observe various events. And people. We have a natural curiosity about the world.
   You probably think we dream of Plato's perfect world? Not necessarily. Remember his cave, which can be considered a prison for the soul. Plato reversed the view of being, of reality: because the ordinary view sees reality only in things, while Plato, taking the reality of ideas as a measure, didn’t find it in things. They seemed to him merely phenomena; only the ideal being seemed truly real. Besides, he saw nothing wrong with getting rid of socially useless people.
   Aristotle, his student, had a more radical view, arguing that people with disabilities should be removed from the state. So, one must be careful with the classics; Aristotle also supported slavery as consistent with natural law. He believed that individuals endowed with greater intelligence and less physical strength could rule over individuals with greater strength and less intelligence.
   Just think what would happen if some Proud Boys or other morons found out about this. They would cite Plato and Aristotle, but for now, they just believe in chemtrails, that the earth is flat, that Hillary Clinton raped and ate children in the back of a Washington pizzeria, and that the world is ruled by the Illuminati, reptilians, or seventeen hooded Jews in the basement of the Washington Monument, or something like that. In any case, this isn't Plato's cave.
   So it goes, and let it stay that way.

25 April 2025

these countries are kissing my ass

   ‘I am telling you, these countries are calling us up, kissing my ass. They are dying to make a deal. Please, please sir, make a deal. I’ll do anything sir’.

   Our question concerns diplomatic protocol; first the traditional handshake, then the ass kissing, or the other way around? Either way, a suitable stand will come in handy, wooden, elegant. To match the décor. Can be placed next to a large desk, maybe under one of the portraits of the Great Leader, say, the one painted on request of the Kremlin as a gift from Putin, who even prayed. By the way, the German for Leader is Führer. We don't know how it goes in Russian, but let's say ‘My dear buddy comrade Vladimir, good guy, I trust him.’

   Will do?

26 April 2025

fbi arrested a judge

   He attended the funeral of Pope Francis wearing a blue suit and met with Zelensky in St Peter’s Basilica in the first meeting since their notorious blow-up in the White House in February.
   The FBI arrested a judge in Wisconsin.
   Besides, we like blue both as a colour and as a concept: Kind of Blue, Yves Klein, blue sky, La chambre bleue by Suzanne Valadon, Blue Note, Picasso's Blue Period, and so on. On the other hand, in religious painting, it emphasized innocence and spirituality; perhaps his blue suit stemmed from a desire to be considered a virgin?
   Btw, have you noticed that some time has passed, 97 days to be exact? If anyone hasn't had their brains twisted inside out yet, raise your hand and shout: Hip hip hooray!

27 April 2025

only one left his post?

   We read: ‘Joe Kasper, the chief of staff to Pete Hegseth, the embattled defense secretary, unexpectedly left his post in the latest sign of upheaval at the Pentagon’.
   Only one left his post?
   Is the Pentagon still needed for anything?
   After all, your Leader (in German Führer) handles everything himself, as befits a guy who's very, very, very intelligent.

28 April 2025

day 99

   Day 99, get ready for tomorrow!

29 April 2025

let joyfully shout hurray!

   So, one hundred days behind us. Whoever is still alive and hasn't been fired, arrested, or sent to El Salvador, who hasn't been expelled from university, whose benefits haven't been taken away, let them joyfully shout: Hurray!

30 April 2025

a bit weird, isn't it?

   A few days ago, while contemplating the virginity he himself may have wanted, we mentioned La chambre bleue by Suzanne Valadon. Where does this association come from? Because the colour of his suit in the Vatican at the Pope's funeral reminded us of the blue that painters once used to paint religious depictions of the Madonna.
   Suzanne Valadon, the greatest lady of French painting at the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries, was also called the Madonna of Montmartre.
   On the other hand, we know how he, despite his virgin-blue suit, treats women, what he said about young girls and their ‘charms’, that he is not only a sociopath, but a misogynist or some kind of pervert – who the hell knows – we, the artists, are not psychiatrists, after all. And painting until Valadon's time saw women, young women, as ethereal models, lovers, sex goddesses, objects of desire for older men—and that's how painters depicted them for years. Until the time of Susanne Valadon.
   And so began our somewhat complex and lengthy discussion, which we summarize below.

   We concluded that Suzanne Valadon was, in a sense, a bridge between Toulouse-Lautrec's fading Belle Epoque and Picasso's birth of modern art.

   She modelled, and sometimes mistressed, for the greatest artists: Auguste Renoir, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, and Edgar Degas. But she also learned from them, over time becoming one of them – the great painters of that era. At 18, she gave birth to a son, Maurice, whose father is unclear. Historians say Renoir, but Suzanne Valadon gave him the surname after a Spaniard she met at the time – and thus Maurice Utrillo appeared, Modigliani's closest friend, an alcoholic and distinguished painter.
   She worked with Picasso and others, was friends with Amadeo Modigliani, and was the only friend of Edgar Degas, a rather gloomy guy, yet sublime artist.

   La chambre bleue (The Blue Room), from 1923, is her self-portrait at the age of 57, reclining on a couch. But in a way, it’s an illustration of her independence and feminine strength. It contains hidden meanings and references to classic painting. This painting ridicules images of the naked female body, which were considered important from a male perspective: Édouard Manet caused a scandal at the Paris Salon in 1865 with his ‘Olimia.’ It depicts a nude woman – a prostitute – dressed only in jewellery and slippers slipping off her feet (a sign of depravity). With this painting, Manet alluded to Titian's ‘Venus of Urbino.’ The artist changed several key symbols in his painting, including a dog lying at the feet of Titian's nude Venus – a symbol of fidelity – while a cat, symbolizing female sensuality and sexuality, fawns at Olympia's feet.
   In turn, Titian's painting refers to ‘Dresden Venus’, attributed to Giorgione. So it goes. You know, we can go on like this forever..

   This way or another, talking about art and the colour of his suit in the Vatican, we came to the conclusion that as Valadon was a bridge between fading Belle Epoque and the birth of modern art, he is a bridge between the fading belle epoque of peace and the birth of the coming chaos.

   A bit weird, isn't it?

2 May 2025

allow us to spoil ourselves a bit

   Allow us to spoil ourselves a bit.

3 May 2025

simple, right?

   We've answered somewhat annoying questions about our obsessions several times already. Yes, we dislike commies, fascists, and idiots who see some advantage in these two ‘styles’. We, the artists, generally love everyone, slightly less those who, believing themselves superior, desire to rule everyone and everything. In short, autocrats and dictators. That's why we dislike him.
   Simple, right?

   As for his close buddy Putin, it's also simple – he's a war criminal. Russia has always been focused on permanent expansion and plunder. It has never developed a civilized model of living together with the rest of the world. Similarly, in domestic relations: it has conquered large part of Asia, but instead of meaningful exploitation, it resorts to the primitive plunder of vast natural resources. Why? Because they haven't yet discovered another path. Putin couldn't, and even didn't want to, lead Russia onto the path of international cooperation because, along with the gangsters surrounding him, can't function on the basis of agreements or partnerships. Why? Because that's how he was raised, that's how his father lived. Because that's how Russians have always lived.

   After the attack on Ukraine, this ‘modern’ army began raping, including children and elderly women, and stealing everything they could get their hands on: from children's toys to household appliances, food, and bathroom equipment too, even though they didn't quite know what such ceramics were for. What they didn't steal, they destroyed. Civilians they killed for fun.

   It's terrifying that your Leader (Führer in German) respects and trusts Putin. He likes Hitler's generals. He doesn't mind talking to the madman Kim, who turned North Korea into a concentration camp.

   The question we don't know the answer to is why? What the hell do America and the free world need this for?

   Besides, apart from reading books, we, the artists, make art.

5 May 2025

keep calm and carry on!

   A new week begins, so cross off the days behind us.
   Keep calm and carry on!

9 May 2025

taco as penguin of madagascar

TACO, sounds great! He really chickens out on every occasion. It’s as good as Penguins of Madagascar.
Or even better!
Hey Taco, come on, make everything great again! As you did with USFL!
Hey Taco, come on, make everything great again! As you did with USFL!
If you guys don’t know what we are referring to, please read an article titled ‘The day Donald Trump's narcissism killed the USFL’ – https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2018/sep/11/the-day-donald-trumps-narcissism-killed-the-usfl

11 May 2025

ye grapes again

   Dear American friends, we're getting asked about it again, sometimes even attacked – that the art shouldn't be political. We've already answered, and we can repeat: watch The Last Judgement in the Sistine Chapel or Creazione di Adamo on its ceiling, if in doubt. Or The Last Supper in Santa Maria delle Grazie, Milan. Not enough? Read Susan Sontag's Against Interpretation or Theodor Adorno. Coming from the time of pterodactyls? Harari remains.

   We don't go to London as often anymore; noisy and crowded, but some exhibitions worth seeing. And Ye Grapes; we recently met a certain highbrow who, while leisurely sipping a drink (probably port), was leafing through some papers. A conversation ensued, and after a few words about the weather, it turned to politics. We explained that for us, Great Britain, once a symbol of democracy, is ruled by groups of cynics who live by the rhythm of newspaper headlines and social media clicks. And people live not by what someone does, but by what someone says. Power is being exchanged between professional politicians who know each other intimately because they went to the same schools that teach the art of argumentation, but not necessarily fidelity to truth. Virtue is rhetorical skill without reference to facts, distortion and persuasive manipulation of facts, and portrayal of opponents as incompetent and mentally retarded. Edmund Burke warned about this kind of political class over a hundred years ago, writing that the worst thing about the French Revolution was the emergence of professional politicians.

   And this guy finished his drink, put his papers in a leather briefcase, stood up, buttoned his jacket, he nodded slightly and left. He strode through Shepherd Market with a stately gait, lacking only a bowler hat and an umbrella, which he would probably swing gracefully.

   We concluded that this elegant, elderly Londoner was most likely a politician himself and simply felt insulted. Perhaps he considered we weren't worthy of his attention or time to discuss with us. It was a positive experience, though; there are still people who, if they disagree with you, don't insult you or hurl curses. Imagine the president as a distinguished gentleman with impeccable manners.

   He might not wear a bowler hat or swing an umbrella gracefully.

12 May 2025

time to mark off the days

   Another Monday has arrived, time to mark off the days!

15 May 2025

gather ye rosebuds while ye may

   Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
   necessarily with a golden urinal

   Some say that Imelda Marcos, the wife of the Philippine dictator, in addition to having over 1K shoes, used silk toilet paper. The corrupt show some amazing toilet urges, usually gold-plated; Putin has golden toilets in his residence, everything around him is gold-plated. On 5th Avenue, everything is also as if gold-plated. The question is whether the toilets over there are made of solid gold or just gold-plated?
   We are just reading that a certain police officer in Russia was caught because it was revealed that in his palace worthy of Putin he had golden toilets. He broke the still living rule of Nikolai Gogol in Russia, that one should steal according to rank. The higher the rank, the more gold the toilet. Queen is the highest, say TACO. So we hope that the 747 ‘as a gift’ from the Qataris will have not only golden toilets. We, the artists, have no problems with toilets since Marcel Duchamp fixed it in 1917. Since then, we can piss anywhere.

   Gonna take her for a ride on a big jet plane
   Gonna take her for a ride on a big jet plane
   Hey, hey
   Hey, hey

16 May 2025

new order of neo-nazi and post-bolshevik

   Since we've already talked about gilded toilets, let's add that for those like him and Putin it's normal. Kitsch reigns supreme. As a rule, we don't deal with kitsch, why should we, but for you we found something, in a book printed on paper, not by AI:

   ‘The Nazis and the Communists, shared a similar taste, a combination of rural festivity, bourgeois salon, and imperial splendor, all of it pompous, and trashy. From folk culture, from the middle classes’ own patterns, and from the culture of the Roman Empire, the Nazis and Communists extracted elements suited their sick ideologies and lumped them all together, either under the banner of the swastika or the hammer and sickle. This is the origin of the stone chariots drawn by chargers and driven by half-naked yokels to the glory of frontline tank crews. This was meant to be the culture of the New Order. They differed with regard to religion. Hitler’s soldiers portended Apocalypse under the banner of Gott mit uns, whereas Stalin blew up churches while building his paradise on earth and asked about the number of armored divisions at the Pope’s disposal’.

   We might add that current mix of neo-Nazi and post-Bolshevik supremacy tries to create the Very New Order, and for some unfathomable reason will be having shits on gold water closets only.

   Btw, the Hillbilly supported neo-Nazi party in Germany, and now supports pro-Putin, pro-Russian, anti-NATO and anti-European candidate in coming presidential elections in Romania.
   TACO himself invited candidate in elections in Poland to the White House. For shake hands, and a photo. The thing is that this Polish candidate is known for stealing an apartment from an elderly, and comes from neo-Nazi criminal circles. He also ‘worked’ as a pimp in a hotel, and as a bouncer in a whorehouse, as local journalists found out.

   Elegant high society. Nicely dressed, expensive suits, shiny ties. No swastika or the hammer and sickle. Just smiling.

19 May 2025

do artist deserve a vacation?

   Warm, nice weather, we've been working hard for the past few months. We decided that, like every day labourer, not to say workhorse, artist deserve a vacation. Crowds of tourists? Not really. As every year, we choose the end of May or June as a quiet time. So, forgive us if we appear with our comments a bit less frequently. But we're preparing the paintings in advance, so as not to leave you alone at the mercy of a guy in a knee-length tie, or about.

   Besides, it's Monday, time to cross off the next days of this humiliating spectacle.

21 May 2025

the beauty of me is that I'm very rich

   Yesterday, he announced the Golden Dome defense shield. It's probably necessary, we know nothing about missiles except that they kill. But we know it will cost trillions, enough to feed a billion starving, and with the CEOs' earnings enough to irrigate the deserts and turn them into crops so that the starving will stop starving.
   What else do we know about money? That he may not be satisfied with trillions and will want zillions.
   ‘The beauty of me is that I'm very rich.’
   We have heard about few concepts of beauty; Aristotle viewed beauty as a quality of objects, emphasizing proportion and balance, for Plato beauty was a universal form, a transcendent reality that exists independently of human perception, and was associated with truth.
   Kant, the one of ‘the starry heavens above me and the moral law within me’, noticed that beauty as a matter of individual taste is influenced by culture and education, and so on, and so forth. All of philosophers had sth to say about it, but it was Hegel who suggested that beauty evolves and changes over time, reflecting the progress of human understanding.
   So here comes a question: if a given human is sort of bonehead and his understanding is limited to pots of dough, and his vision of beauty evolved, changed over time, would it be accepted as new philosophical concept? If so, let’s give him Nobel in philosophy! Or in art: ‘Deals are my art form’.

   Ok, but we started about presenting the missiles. Not much about arms was said, but we saw him sitting contentedly and his retainers standing around and reciting paeans to his eminence. They were announcing their delight that they could faithfully serve such an eminent Leader (Führer in German), how fortunate they were that he wanted to pull them out of the oblivion of their miserable existence and let them serve him. And so on in a loyally subservient tone.

   A nice theatrical performance with rich staging in the background, only the hammer and sickle and the red star missing.
   They will show it on Broadway someday.

26 May 2025

get to work!

   Monday, so get to work! Mark off the days!

27 May 2025

see a live pelican, give it a fish

   All roads lead to Rome, allegedly. But look at the map: roads lead to Cirencester. And so we're back in the Cotswolds. The weather's nice, so we're drinking Pimm's, probably No. 1 because No. 6 is gone.
   Cirencester was an important early Roman center around AD 70, but the city boomed under the name Corinium, and by the end of the 2nd century it was the second largest city in Roman Britain and the capital of Britannia Prima. A piece of history.
   Today we walk down Dollar Street and think that in those ancient times, there were buffalo running down Fifth Avenue and pterodactyls or something of a sort flying 66 stories up. We don't know anything about crocodiles in NYC; they were definitely at Mar-a-Lago. And they're still there, at least one.
   As far as we know, pterodactyls are gone; extinct. But pelicans, ducks, and various other birds, both large and small, remain. But they too will perish, flooded with oil from crumbling, rusty Russian tankers, bursting pipes, and exploding drilling rigs.
   Drill, baby, drill.

   PS If you see a live pelican, give it a fish. Or leave it alone.

30 May 2025

philosophy, how about a bite of margherita?

   From the days of studying philosophy – yes, yes, imagine artists studying something like that – we now remember Karl Popper and Henri Bergson for two reasons: blaming everything on the so-called leftists, read: Democrats, and lying as the dominant form of power, read: today's White House.

   As for the first, this power calls itself the right wing, meant to signify good and distinguish it from evil, the left. Such a division existed once, but no longer. Nowadays, societies are divided into open and closed. This concept was introduced by the French philosopher Henri Bergson, and Popper wrote about it in his book The Open Society and Its Enemies. Don't feel like reading? In short: an open society is a democratic society that allows for criticism, free individual decisions, and government policy is subject to social evaluation and changes accordingly. A closed society, on the other hand, is characterized by a lack of freedom, rigid hierarchies, and an inability to criticize.

   The terms ‘right’ and ‘left’ originated in France during the French Revolution, roughly two and a half centuries ago, when in the National Assembly representatives of the nobility, aristocracy, and clergy sat on the right side of the chamber, while on the left sat politicians demanding social and political change and the introduction of a republican system. So much for history.

   On the second point, today’s so-called right – a truly amusing term, as it is essentially neo-Bolshevik and openly pro-fascist, while simultaneously flaunting its religiosity – must hate Popper for his principle of falsifiability, which allows for the refutation of lies and conspiracy theories. Please note! Theories and hypotheses can be falsified, but not people, although there are certainly those inclined to do so. Just one sentence: any statement, hypothesis, or theory can be tested, determining its truth or untruth through positive verification or negative falsification.
   Of course, Popper's argument is much more complicated and elaborate, but we promised one sentence.

   In short, it can be proven that anti-vaxxers, flat-earthers, chemtrail and intelligent design followers, those with a bison-horned headdress or a tin foil hatters, as well as reptilians and Washington pizzeria secrets proponents, are idiots.

   How about a bite of Margherita?

31 May 2025

dollar street, cirencester

   We received a letter questioning whether it was possible that Dollar Street existed in the medieval, or even much older, town of Cirencester in the Cotswolds.

   It does.

1 June 2025

dollar street house

   Yesterday, we responded to a letter asking if it was possible that there was a Dollar Street in Cirencester, dating back to the early 1st millennium.

   Yes, there is even a Dollar Street house there.

2 June 2025

start the new week

   We start the new week by crossing off the days behind us. Are you alive?

3 June 2025

not involve almighty in matters that smell like shit

   The new voice of America from Washington sounds a bit strange, with a distinct Russian accent. The articles come from the daily Pravda. It's a distinguished newspaper, with Lenin and Stalin on its first editorial board. Do you know what that title means? True.

   There was also another Voice of America, but it's being closed down. As part of a sincere friendship with Putin, so as not to upset him. After all, you shouldn't upset your closest buddies.

   It was commissioned by the US government during World War II to combat propaganda, and after the war, it developed a kind of cultural diplomacy. Such a thing doesn't exist today – it's better to insult everyone and yell at your friends, right?
   VOA also supported democracy in many countries overrun by communism.
   In the 1950s, Radio Free Europe and Radio Liberty were established for the same purpose. Last year, they had approximately 50 million listeners in 23 countries with limited, or with no access to free media, including Russia, Hungary, Iran, and other countries in Central Asia and the Caucasus.

   But a new order has taken hold in Washington, and all of this must be destroyed.
   We, the artists, don't know the mechanisms of power, but we wonder whether the decisions were made in Washington or Moscow.
   One might say, God only knows, but let's not involve Almighty in matters that smell like a pile of shit from afar.
   Hallelujah!

   PS Please note that concepts like ‘Freedom’, ‘Liberty’, ‘Free Europe’ have recently become incredibly dangerous from a national security perspective.

9 June 2025

the beginning of a new week

   The beginning of a new week, Monday. If you've survived those difficult days, cross them off.

10 June 2025

you'd better free your mind instead

   So, Fanelli's again, it was cloudy, but the sun came out – outside. Inside as always, it's cramped, dark and loud. Cozy place to grab a bite, have a drink. We like Fanelli's. We like New York.

   The TV claims that in LA this fella sent the National Guard to the protests, although no one asked him. He said, ‘These are paid insurrectionists, these are paid troublemakers.’

   The guy at the bar couldn't stand it: ‘Totally over my head! Son of a bitch!’

   We are painters only. But for us it’s all clear: half-Bolshevik, half-fascist. We leave it to wise heads to analyze whether it is 40/60, or maybe the other way around, or maybe other proportions. It doesn't matter. Every revolution feeds itself in its own madness. And it declares enemies: intelligentsia, Jews, peasants, emigrants, immigrants, lesbians, artists, cyclists, students, whatever. Guilty of what? Doesn't matter. As Lenin used to say, or some other commie; ‘Give us a man, we'll find an article.’

   The thing is that they understand nothing, know nothing, are driven by the lust to make a revolution:

   ‘You say you want a revolution
   Well, you know
   We all want to change the world
   But when you talk about destruction
   Don't you know that you can count me out
   You say you got a real solution
   Well, you know
   We'd all love to see the plan
   You ask me for a contribution
   Well, you know
   We're all doing what we can
   But if you want money for people with minds that hate
   All I can tell you is brother you have to wait
   You say you'll change the constitution
   Well, you know
   We all want to change your head
   You tell me it's the institution
   Well, you know
   You'd better free your mind instead’

12 June 2025

we're terribly ashamed

   A certain MAGA supporter, judging by the insults he called us, also accused us of shamelessness.
   We admit, we feel ashamed. We were reminiscing about our recent visit to the Cotswolds. We, the artists, including a girl who loves cakes, visited Sezincote Gardens and after long walks stopped for tea at the Orangery Tearoom. She ordered a carrot-pistachio cake, which she claimed was delicious. Time was running out, and one of us, urging her on, jokingly but far too loudly, said, ‘Come on, you'll get a better one.’
   A very nice waitress overheard this.
   We're terribly ashamed.
   If you happen to be in the area, stop by, try their carrot-pistachio cake and say something nice to the waitress. Perhaps in this way you will redeem some of our sins.
   Thank you, and enjoy the cake!

16 June 2025

more days to cross off

   Next Monday, more days to cross off, best of luck!

20 June 2025

more days to cross off

   We've already pointed out that we, the artists, know little about wars, cannons, horse cavalry, stratospheric bombers, and even ordinary pistols. But we know, like the vast majority of even moderately brainy people in the world, that Putin invaded a free, sovereign country of Ukraine with the goal of murdering its citizens, destroying everything, and assassinating the Ukrainian government and replacing it with his own lieutenant governors, as the Russian tsars did in the past.

   We say ‘vast majority’, not all, because unfortunately, besides normal people, the oppressed live on planet Earth, deprived of access to information, fed by various propaganda. There are also those who have free access to information but don't use it, feeding their already overloaded minds, incapable of independent thought, with secret knowledge they glean from the internet or from colleagues with similar mental capacities. And then, there's HE.

   As for our ignorance of war, we simply ain't very interested, even though we've heard of von Clausewitz and Machiavelli, and have even read Sun Tzu and his The Art of War – a fascinating read that at times resembles Schopenhauer's Eristic, where the philosopher focuses on the strategy of winning arguments rather than on discovering the truth. Schopenhauer was, after all, a rather sad chap. Anyhow, it's a slim book, but interesting.
   Meanwhile, The Art of War, which Sun Tzu wrote some two and a half thousand years ago, is an remarkable work, especially in the Chartwell Books quite thick edition we have, with its intriguing binding.

   Needless to say, in Sun Tzu's time, even alligators were probably fleeing from T-rexes at Mar-a-Lago. Pterodactyls were flying freely, possibly.
   Getting back to the topic; We, the artists, wonder when HE will finally grasp that the war in Ukraine is Putin's war, not Biden's, Zelensky's, Kamala Harris's, Hillary Clinton's, or even CNN's.
   We're checking the clock; maybe one day something will click in his head and he'll grasp at least this bit of reality.
   Let’s hope so!

23 June 2025

have fun!

   Monday, time to tick off the days! Have fun!

26 June 2025

oi, loser, fancy throwing yourself in the bin?

   If you are a man, there may be a wife, mother, lover waiting at home. Maybe she was worried about you? She will be happy or a little disappointed, maybe she will ask where you were? What were you doing? Or why so late? A dog will always wag its tail, jump for joy. People get all sorts of doubts in relationships, but dogs? Never. Only a proper lowlife would ever hurt a dog. That saying, ‘to throw out like a dog’ fits a psychopath. TACO is a psycho: ‘She should be IMMEDIATELY reprimanded, and then thrown out like a dog'.
   Oi, loser, fancy throwing yourself in the bin?

   ‘You're an idiot, babe
   It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe’

30 June 2025

new week, good luck!

   Another Monday, time to pick up the pen and cross off the days. Good luck!

7 July 2025

how much of this lousy spectacle is left

   A new week, time to tick off the days! Look how much of this lousy spectacle is left, have the strength to survive until the end!

14 July 2025

are you still alive?

   Are you still alive? Then pick up the pen and cross them off. It's Monday!

21 July 2025

cross off the days behind us

   A new week begins, so cross off the days behind us.

22 July 2025

wonderful moments of absolute freedom

   We were on vacation, more then a few days off. A lot of fun, surfing, we also popped in for a dance. A nice club, light music, good fun. As it happens, we talked until early hours. Why are songs so often about love? Joyful, full of hope, but also lyrically sad about heartbreak or unfulfilled expectations.
   In short, people experience these wonderful moments, which can be happy for a long time or very briefly, ending happily or not. Then there are groans of disappointment, lamentations over a merciless fate.

   There is also a case of absolute love, faithful to the grave, when one can rely completely and without any doubt. This is perfect love. Yes, it exists. It's self-love. Do you know who we mean?

   Vacation, let's leave the unpleasant aside.

   Besides the songs, the beach, and the brief holiday mood, we were completely absorbed by our favourite music. By chance, we managed to buy a hard-to-find Arvo Pärt album.

   Unfamiliar? Find the nearest concert, and don't worry; you won't meet jerk with a tie dangling between his legs. Tabula Rasa lasts about half an hour, but leaves a mark for life. Or do what we did lately: retreat to a quiet, secluded place and just listen the recording. It can heal the soul. The Estonian composer creates magically pure music. Using simple forms, he creates music that is full of subtlety, and yet possesses great metaphysical power. And a distinct humility. Hats off to Arvo Pärt! Once again, thanks to him, we experienced wonderful moments of absolute freedom.
   This incredibly delicate music offers respite and hope in today's world of clamour, noise, and disorder. Life truly can be so beautiful. Sometimes.

27 July 2025

quite living criminal with small hands

   We know a little about anatomy; in our early education at the Academy of Fine Arts, we used wooden figurines as models, then we painted live models, but that's just kindergarten compared to the in-depth studies of the great masters of the past.
   Rembrandt's mid-17th-century painting, The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp, depicts a reclining figure surrounded by medics. The subject of the titular anatomy lesson is a criminal previously hanged for his misdeeds.
   Some say that the quite living criminal, recently convicted in New York for his misdeeds, has small hands. We do not comment on this matter due to our limited anatomical knowledge, but ‘South Park’ claims it’s not just hands.

28 July 2025

tick off the days behind

   Monday, time to tick off the days behind us. We're keeping our fingers crossed for you!

29 July 2025

whatever

   A day before, we wrote about Rembrandt and his painting depicting a dead man who was a criminal hanged for his misdeeds.
   It has been brought to our attention that a completely alive criminal convicted by a New York court was also depicted in a painting, though not in a lying position. This painting was commissioned by the Kremlin, and was given to this very criminal as a gift from Putin, a war criminal.
   Whatever.

30 July 2025

what is really embarrassing? he is

   Dropped cases against LA protesters reveal false claims from federal agents; records show border patrol gave inaccurate testimony about people it jailed. Prosecutors now face ‘embarrassing’ dismissals.
   Do you know what is really embarrassing?
   He is.

1 August 2025

may god protect you!

   We, the artists, know so little about the mechanisms of power that on June 3 we asked whether the decisions to close Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty were made in Washington or Moscow.
   We don't know the answer.
   But we learned that, amidst everything that this sick government in Washington has already done illegally, closing RFE/RL is also illegal, because it's not a federal institution but a private one. And we read their statement:
   ‘RFE/RL journalists report the news in 27 languages in 23 countries where a free press is banned by the government or not fully established. We provide what many people cannot get locally: uncensored news, responsible discussion, and open debate.’ It was signed by webteam@rferl.org

   These last three: ‘uncensored news, responsible discussion, and open debate’ are also, of course, deadly dangerous from a national security perspective. Will the Pentagon take care of this?

   When asking on June 3 whether the decisions were made by the White House or the Kremlin, we refrained from saying, ‘God only knows,’ so as not to involve the Almighty in matters that from afar reek like a shit.
   But now we surrender: May God protect you!

4 August 2025

russian warship, go fuck yourself

   We, the artists, don't know what will happen in Ukraine. We sincerely hope that the brave Ukrainians will send the Russians – and here we have two options: the believers to hell, the others to go fuck themselves. If you don't remember, it's about what the Ukrainian defenders of Snake Island declared to the attacking missile cruiser Moskva: 'Russian warship, go fuck yourself.'
   And all the murderers sent by Putin to Ukraine – to bite the dust.

   What we, the artists, know is that this pompous prick in a knee-length tie will keep on letting Putin screw him. We also know that today is Monday. So cross off the next days, weeks, those who survived.

10 August 2025

you're an idiot, babe

   We don't know if you remember, a while back we pointed out that this moron wanted to give his buddy Putin half of Ukraine. We asked, 'Maybe you could give him something that belongs to you? How about Alaska?'
   Some people say that art can be prophetic. Look, now they're going to Alaska for some tittle-tattle. What will come out of it? Nothing. Instead of ’exchanging territories,’ (what the hell territories?) Putin will screw him. Putin's been playing him for a fool for months. You probably also don't remember that he would end the war in Ukraine in a day, or with a single phone call even before his term begins. It was well over half a year ago.

   ‘You're an idiot, babe
   It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe’.

11 August 2025

this we'll defend?

   We read that he's currently sending troops to Washington. And rightly so; it's much easier to attack your own country than some Canada or another Greenland. But attacking your own country is something new. Breaking the law is nothing new; everyone seems to be used to that by now.

   We, the artists, know nothing about war tactics, but we're curious what these brave soldiers will be doing in Washington? Running over people in their cars with tanks just for fun, like Putin's guys in Ukraine? Killing women and children in the streets? After all, Putin is his close buddy, someone he trusts and admires.

   This We'll Defend?

   Luckily, it's Monday, so it's time for a brand new calendar!

12 August 2025

no tanks in sight, yet

   Phew! We breathed a sigh of relief! Soldiers are peacefully strolling through Washington's parks, some taking advantage of the sunny weather to get a tan. No one is murdering anyone, and there are no tanks in sight. Apparently, he only partially followed the advice of his pal Putin: sending soldiers into the streets is meant to scare people and make it clear that if they protest, they'll see gun barrels.

   Freedom for all! Americans too.

13 August 2025

he claps when the plane lands

   Some time ago, we wrote about our travels to the Cotswolds; beautiful, quiet, peaceful, until a hillbilly from across the pond invaded. Couldn't he have a holiday in his own village? Local true patriots would have welcomed him with honor, Proud Boys would have volunteered to keep order, just to rough up any leftist who might come along. He would have gotten the best room in his village hotel, if there was one, and spent his time peacefully, as he had as a child, milking cows. Or riding them. Or whatever.

   Instead, he fancied staying in a real, elegant place in the hamlet of Dean, near Chipping Norton for a while. The 18th-century home.
   Right. Bison roamed his home village at the time. Whether pterodactyls flew, we don't know.

   And so he's made a mess in the area. People are pissed, can't get through, can't go to the store, road closures, even local paths, sniffer dogs, police and a number of blacked out cars in the area – a marked difference to the usual calm and quaint atmosphere.

   It's normal that he and his chief screw up everything they touch, but why the hell to disturb the peace of the Cotswolds?
   Local people do it their very British way; they come up with placards ‘J.D. claps when the plane lands’ or say ‘Go home!’ The more angry propose ‘Sod off.’

14 August 2025

just don't get tailed

   Warm and sunny. We're sitting in a café in Basel on the riverbank in the city centre. Believe it or not, firstly, the water is turquoise, and secondly, people are swimming with small bundles.

   A graying man hears us speaking English and explains: ‘They’re returning from work, pack their suits into airtight containers and float home, normal here.’

   An American. We’re chatting, and he says, ‘I taught political history at university, but enough is enough. I was born in New Jersey, raised in Manhattan at a time when it was scary to enter Central Park. The park is safe now, but it’s not my country anymore, not my America. I’m an immigrant in Europe, and I feel good knowing ICE is not after me.'
   He laughs, but not very cheerfully. And he chats on, more and more interesting. We order food and a bottle of wine, then another. We tell him a little about ourselves, show him what we're doing. He seems interested, lowers his glasses, and reads carefully.
   ‘Well, well, artists,’ he says, nodding. Hard to figure out what he means. Once he bursts into laughter.
   We suggest he come over to our place if he has a moment.
   He accepts the invitation for another weekend, now he's starting meetings at universities around. ‘You see, I'm looking for a job, I'm an immigrant.’
   Just don't get tailed,’ we laugh.
   ‘Sure, guys, like I said, armed morons ain’t after me here.’

   We insist on paying the bill. We're really loaded; one of us sold a painting to a Swiss collector for a small fortune. We rented a studio in Riehen; it's still Basel, close to the city, but in places it's like a village nestled in fields. Our temporary home and workplace is a well-kept old barn, but not far from the Fondation Beyeler, designed by Renzo Piano. They're just closing for the exhibition changeover, so it's quiet in the area; that’s how we can invite American professor in Switzerland to ‘our place’.

   That’s it for today. Sleep well, if ICE is not after you.

16 August 2025

almighty and bison roaming fifth avenue

   Hello, American friends. Again, please accept our sincere condolences. We are truly sorry; it's such a shame! The only thing he can do now is join #metoo, as he was brutally raped in Alaska.
   May the Almighty bless you, for there is nothing else.

   There was a guy named Averroes, he lived a long time ago, around the time bison roamed Fifth Avenue. And then he, not the bison, asked the question whether the Almighty is almighty. He was referring to a stone so heavy that even the Almighty couldn't lift it. And this isn't about any stone, but about the fact that on American soil (admittedly bought for pennies from the Russkies, but also quite a while ago) in the presence of cameras and journalists, the war criminal is screwing this clown, who smiles stupidly and mumbles something about ‘progress.’

   And all those federal agents, the Secret Service and all the rest couldn't protect him, so, philosophers aside, all you are left with is faith in the Almighty, assuming he's almighty.

   Hallelujah!

17 August 2025

long live the king! or a birdie

   You know what it's like when a balloon breaks free of its tether and flies away, buffeted by gusts of wind. It's similar with a person who loses touch with reality; they’re seeing pink elephants, talk nonsense, think they're Jesus or a fish, sometimes a King or a birdie. But such ailments are curable. It's worse if they have the power to decide something important, even worse if they consider themselves very, very, very intelligent, and worst of all if they begin to believe they're almighty. We mentioned Averroes and his omnipotence paradox yesterday, but that's more philosophy than theology, though it’s been stirring minds for centuries. In our poor guy's case, we're dealing with a psychiatric case, not a philosophical, theological, or any other kind.
   The question remains: is he curable? Perhaps instead of electroshock, lobotomy or other terrible inventions, give him a Nobel Prize?
   Very humane.

   Long live the King! Or a birdie.

18 August 2025

he kissed his ass

   Forgive us for bringing up a rather unsavory topic again today. We recently heard about international leaders waiting to kiss his ass.
   In Alaska, we saw American soldiers on their knees rolling out the red carpet for a war criminal, and a smiling clown applauding and stroking his hands. He behaved like a blushing, marriageable girl. Journalists claim no one knows what went on behind closed doors. We, the artists, know: he kissed his ass.
   This is what happens when wishful thinking differs from reality.

   Fortunately, today is Monday and to cheer you up, we have a calendar where you can cross off the days until this embarrassing situation ends.

19 August 2025

drill, baby, drill

   A few days ago, we wrote about the King, and the birdies. Do you know what he thinks about the birds?
   Drill, baby, drill.

21 August 2025

your choice

   Or is he in love with Putin? No, rather not, simply adores him. We'd rather believe Putin carries around some sort of ‘kompromat’, one of Soviets’ primary tools, besides spreading fear and false accusations. By the way, reminds you of anything?
   It was Stalin's invention, but Hitler also enjoyed using ‘kompromat’, later adopted by the Stasi in East Germany.

   But you Americans have a choice.

23 August 2025

be obedient and fearful

   As we've already mentioned, we don't know anything about war machines, nor are we historians. But we can read, and we often do; we mean old-fashioned books on paper.

   We read that Stalin, to cement his absolute power, instituted mass terror in the Soviet Union. The culmination was 1937 and the Great Purge, during which he murdered and sent to Gulag camps not only political opponents, real or perceived, but also Red Army officers – just in case. That is, to make everyone obedient and fearful. Two years later, World War II broke out.

   We learned that his administration is firing generals, admirals, and other high-ranking officers in a series targeting US military leaders one after another – for no reason, just in case. The rest are supposed to be obedient and fearful.
   We don't know if he learned this from his close buddy Putin, whom he trusts, or if he came up with it on his own. We also don't know whether World War III will break out in two years, a little later, or right away.

   We, the artists, paint pictures.

24 August 2025

no more jumped-up squirrel

   Another day, and instead of painting, we’re back to wartime activities. There's already been the Marines' attack on LA, there are brave soldiers in Washington, and now they're talking about Chicago and New York as the next targets.

   We, the artists, don't see a problem. Just have a look: in Washington, soldiers, already fully armed, stroll around, sometimes cleaning up parks and feeding squirrels. A squirrel might seem cute, but if it gets the wrong kind of nut, it can be nasty and bite. A small child can't handle it, but a fully armed soldier can; got combat gloves, at a pinch will reach for combat knife. And in a crisis, will throw a grenade and unleash a burst from a machine gun. And no more jumped-up squirrel!

   On another hand, it's a shame these brave soldiers won't go and kick the asses of Putin's murderers in Ukraine, but it's hard to expect the Commander in Chief to attack his close buddy whom he trusts, and for whom American soldiers roll out the red carpet on their knees.

25 August 2025

ice agents chasing rats and cockroaches

   We promise, it'll be about painting soon, for now about governors challenging the decision to send the army to their cities in court. But let's look at it differently: leaving aside what soldiers should be doing in general, if they rake leaves in Washington parks and feed squirrels until they're as right as rain, just think how New Yorkers would love this administration if ICE agents, the military, and other undercover agents caught all rats and cockroaches! They themselves would demand a Nobel Prize for him, well, maybe in the new field of pest control.

   After all, it's the tailcoat, the champagne glass, and the cover of Time that counts. And today is Monday. So, a new calendar for you guys. Cheers!

27 August 2025

you don’t need a fortune-teller

   We're reading The New York Times. A chilling effect on museums.
   We, the artists from $1 Art for America, ain’t too worried; no museum or art gallery in the US would hang our stuff, that's obvious. If that happened, armed forces would immediately appear. Various three-letter agencies led by ICE, plus the military, the National Guard, the police, and a crowd of ‘civilians’ with guns under their jackets. They'd drag out the curators, all the staff, and the owners, and if, heaven forbid, they found us, we would immediately be sent to El Salvador. At best, to alligators in Florida. Or they'd just shoot us on the spot.
   But we sympathize with the artists in the US, the curators, and the gallery owners. We pity these old institutions where they shake with fear even to organize whatever exhibition. These people work hard, have families, children, and suddenly some moron can deem a piece of work inappropriate, report it, and... everyone goes to hell! They'll fire them, take away their grant, bankrupt the museum, and send lawyers to screw everyone involved.

   As we’ve already mentioned, you Americans have a kind of comfort nobody else has ever had before; you don’t even need a fortune-teller to see what’s round the corner! Just read Orwell, or even briefly review Russian history, or German history around 1933.

   This has all happened before. These are old, tried-and-true patterns.

   Okay, if you don't feel like reading long, here's a quick reminder: four bombings in 1999, which killed hundreds, changed Russian history. The Chechens, becoming independent of Moscow, were blamed for all these attacks, even though the evidence points to the FSB, headed by... Vladimir Putin. And that's when he seized power in Russia. He built public support on the fight against terrorism. And fear.

   In 1933, the Reichstag fire in Berlin. The way this incident was exploited was a decisive step on the road to Hitler's complete seizure of power: the secrecy of correspondence, freedom of assembly, the personal inviolability of citizens and their homes, freedom of publication were suspended. As a result, publications not considered friendly were banned. So-called ‘preventive detention’ – internment without a court order – was permitted. Most importantly, also was suspended the possibility of judicial review of administrative decisions.

   Does this remind you of anything?

   You may remember us telling about a nice elderly lady who rented us an atelier in the Cotswolds this summer. She said that even good old jokes lose their meaning. She knew one like this: ‘A Russian meets an American and boasts that the Soviet Union has as much freedom as the USA. Really? asks the surprised American. Yes, the other replies, you can stand in front of the White House and scream that you don't like Ronald Reagan and nothing wrong will happen to you. The same with me, I can stand in Red Square and scream that I don't like Ronald Reagan.’

   No more jokes. Beware of your own Reichstag fire and other bombings blamed on internal enemies!

28 August 2025

make america great again!

   We hear complaints from journalists; he wants to fire some, insults others, and still others he won't let into the WH.
   Listen, guys, in the Middle Ages, if you bought a sword, you could swing it however you wanted, even cut off someone's head or other parts. Was a mess.
   Today, you buy a washing machine and get an instruction manual – don't wash your pet, put the plug in the socket, not your fingers, etc. You buy condom, and there is also instruction so you don't swallow it as a contraceptive pill.
   Putin doesn't mind journalists because they know what questions to ask, even without instructions – he trained them for years, and those who didn't follow, he killed or put in the Gulag. But Putin isn't his only close buddy; there is also Kim, and that fella doesn't give a shit, just issues instructions: when to applaud and for how long when he speaks, when and what slogans to raise in his honour, and how to express admiration. And there are no surprises. Surprises await in concentration camps for those who didn't understand or disliked something.

   But America is a real mess; journalists wander wherever they want and ask 'stupid' questions. We, the artists, have a near-certain feeling that this will soon change and they'll be given instructions. And not just journalists – everyone! How to express admiration, and generally what to say, starting with criticism and a brutal attack on Biden, through complaints about the delays in the Nobel Prize, to admiration for his elegance, beautiful appearance and a natural, charming smile, as well as various talents, from his knowledge of architecture to his outstanding musicality, not to mention his golf successes, worthy not only of a green jacket but also of a green trousers. And a tie, a long one.
   And when everyone who doesn't understand or dislikes something ends up in El Salvador or with alligators in Florida, order worthy of the 21st century will prevail. Not some damn medieval mess.

   Make America Great Again!

29 August 2025

storm clouds on the horizon

   As promised, about the paintings. Now that you know everything about us – Where Do We Come From, What Are We, Where Are We Going, and what we're doing along the way – there's one more thing we haven't shared yet, for which we sincerely apologize. Or maybe not. We're just adding dimensions, and we mean our paintings.

   The most common (HxW) is approximately from 70x50 cm (27x20 in) to 80x58 cm (31x23 in), min 55x40 cm (22x16 in), max 107x78 cm (42x31 in). We say approximately because each image is formatted individually and they may differ slightly from one another. Calendars usually measure 73x52 cm (29x20 in). Our Black Flags, also Graying Flags, are a completely different story, measuring (WxH) 280 x 160 cm (110 x 63 in). Our Black Flags, as well as the Greying Flag, are a completely different story – their dimensions (HxW) are 280 x 160 cm (110 x 63 in).

   We hope this information helps you spend another day calmly, despite the storm clouds on the horizon.

30 August 2025

more criminals will fit

   Where Do We Come From, What Are We, Where Are We Going – that was yesterday. D’où venons nous? Que sommes nous? Où allons nous? – the original title of an allegorical painting created by Paul Gauguin during his personal crisis in Tahiti.
   The clown of yours is also in crisis, and probably a permanent one. He can't paint a picture, he can't do anything except create chaos, also permanent. Just like his crisis. Besides, Tahiti is far away, Canada closer. Invade them?

   Anyway, the painting can be seen at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. Hurry before they turn it into a portrait. Of him, maybe with Putin and Kim as a painting is wide. More criminals will fit.

31 August 2025

you guys have a choice

   Yesterday, we mentioned a trinity – God forbid to confuse with The Trinity – namely, we mentioned him, Putin, and Kim. You could also throw in Hitler and a few others.

   The point is, you Americans have a choice.

1 September 2025

wipe your tears

   An interesting letter is being written today by the Congress of the United States to the fella in the White House:

‘We write to express our strong opposition to your reported plans to mobilize and deploy the National Guard or active-duty service members to Chicago. While your actions come as no surprise given the recent militarization in Washington, D.C., they are nonetheless unlawful, unconstitutional, and unacceptable.

The deployment of the U.S. military into American cities is not about safety or security. It is about control. It is about abusing the power of the Executive Branch and threatening Democratic-led cities and states that dare to openly oppose your authoritarianism. The Administration is attacking cities and states that continue to uphold the rule of law and defend our Constitution, our civil liberties, and due process.

You are disrespecting our troops by treating them like they are your Mar-A-Lago staff-forcing men and women in uniform to pick up trash and perform landscaping duties and making U.S. servicemembers perform clerical work as de facto administrative staff for civil immigration enforcement matters. Pulling troops away from tough, realistic training relevant to high-end combat is not only wasteful, but dangerously degrades military readiness, erodes servicemember morale, and undermines public confidence in a professional and apolitical U.S. Armed Forces.’

It's a long letter, and at the end it adds:

‘Abuses of government and military power to target and punish dissent are the tools of authoritarians. We demand you suspend any plans for the deployment of military personnel to Chicago and cease your unlawful power grabs and Executive Branch overreach.’

   What can we, only the artists, add? It's Monday, we give you a calendar so you can wipe your tears and cross off the next days.

2 September 2025

despots become losers

   Yesterday, we mentioned the letter by the Congress of the United States. Do you think he and his cronies care? We'll tell you: they don't give a shit. Like all despots. And losers. Because despots become losers. It's just a matter of time, the scale of the losses, and the number of victims.

4 September 2025

us govt has screwed up

   As you already know, on the advice of a friendly London lawyer we met at Ye Grapes, we've decided not to sell our work for now. That doesn't mean we weren't planning on sending it to a few friends. But... but, we just learned at the post office that we can't send our $1 painting because the US govt has screwed up, and post offices across Europe won't accept such mail to the States.

   God bless America! Too late for anything but divine rescue.

   Incidentally, Ye Grapes in its current form isn't that old; it's been around since 1882, but originally was established in the heart of Shepherd Market in 1742.
   We, the artists, don't know what pterodactyls were up to back then, but we're guessing the United States didn't yet exist.

   Cheers!

7 September 2025

fasten your seatbelts!

   ‘Chicago will soon find out why it's called the Department of War’, he said. Means, he now intends to attack Chicago. Understandably, easier than Canada or Greenland. The question remains, will he, following his buddy Vladimir, use ballistic missiles and drones, or just soldiers? If so, might he receive support from his other pal, Kim of North Korea?
   Hey, guys! It’s gonna be a hell of a ride, fasten your seatbelts!

8 September 2025

nyc as a stopover to el salvador

   Some of us, the artists, enjoy tennis, but none of us dare watch the US Open final live. Why risk NYC as a stopover to El Salvador?
   We don't usually comment on sporting events, this time we'll quote a sports fan: ‘This ogre fucks up everything.’
   Besides, it’s Monday, time for your next calendar.
   Have a nice day!

9 September 2025

megalomaniacs shit in golden toilets

   We've pointed out that megalomaniacs are having shits to golden toilets. As it turns out, not only. Putin and Kim, whenever they go, have special security officers carrying with them small toilets and are responsible for collecting the chiefs' excrement which is transported back home. We, the artists, don't know what happens to it in the homeland of these two – maybe it ends up in some collection and is gold-plated? Who knows.
   Putin has discovered the secret of eternity. He knows how to rule forever. Only remains how to live forever. To begin with, he wants to live to 150, and that is nothing new. Stalin had such a plan too. It didn't quite work out (we recommend The Death of Stalin by Armando Iannucci). Now we learn how he plans to achieve this: they breed baby pigs and transplant their organs into monkeys to ‘humanize’ them – organs, not monkeys. Then they'll transplant them into Putin.
   We, the artists, don't know much about medicine, but we suspect Putin will start oinking and vigorously scratching his ass.

   Just think, dear Americans, what would happen if Comrade Vladimir convinced his close pal in the White House to live to 150 as well?

   Or maybe he already did?

12 September 2025

young and beautiful piece of ass

   As you probably already know, we respect the written word. By people. Especially handwritten. We were touched by a letter from a certain citizen of Elsmere, Delaware, who showed such a deep interest in the written word that he even omitted a rather attractive young lady only partially clothed. Even completely naked. He pointed out that in our painting posted on February 8, the handwriting is illegible because it is obscured by a bird's wing.
   Indeed, this is the case.
   By the way, this picture is dedicated to what is so important to the Leader (in German Führer) – beautiful piece of ass.
   We hereby repeat this painting, preserving the legibility of the writing, and adding a special dedication to the citizen of Elsmere, Delaware.
   For those who don't remember, it's about ' ... it really doesn't matter ... as long as you've got a young and beautiful piece of ass.'

   God Bless Elsmere and all of Delaware!
   Make America Great Again!
   What the hell is going on with the Nobel Prize!

15 September 2025

megalomaniacs want to live to 150

   A few days ago, we mentioned that megalomaniacs like to shit in golden toilets and want to live to 150.
   We wish him all the best and hope he doesn't oink and vigorously scratch his ass. At least in public.

   Besides, it's Monday, feel free to cross off a few more days.

19 September 2025

state visit

   Usually we, the artists, are far from the affairs of crowned heads. But we read and hear about the state visit everywhere.
   We may admit, this time, it seems to make sense if you can trade square miles of red carpet for the reduced tariffs on steel or other aluminium, which in turn translates into jobs. Those guys in big teddy bear hats have nothing better to do than march anyway, so let them march a little ahead of the moron. For them makes no difference, and the moron is happy.
   As for the gilded carriage, it's the same. Daily dusty, let them shine it, and the horses will happily take a walk.
   The thing about the carriage is that if he saw Parthenope by Paolo Sorrentino, he'd know what it could be used for. But he only watches porn – that's what left from his youthful time spent with Epstein. He was actually present at Windsor, as a projection on the castle tower the evening before. They were both there. The royal guest was dancing in the film, or rather, shaking his ass with some young lady. Not in the film shown on the tower, but in real life, at dinner, he ogled Duchess Kate, whom they had specially seated next to him, and murmured something in her ear. Good-looker. She, not him.

   In the end, just society gossips. We, the artists, are interested in whether, as part of their attempt to placate the madman, they installed a solid-gold shithouse in his private apartments.

   So much for our reflection on the royals. God save the King! – as they say (depending on which king they're referring to this time).

22 September 2025

he likes deals

   He's been rambling again that he's ended so many wars: six, seven, ten, and the poor guy can't even recall how many he's ended. But he's demanding a Nobel Prize more and more loudly.
   But maybe World War III will begin for good thanks to him.

   For good? Well, yes, already years ago, the German thinker, Hans Magnus Enzensberger, had said it was an illusion to think we live in a state of peace. To his mind, for years now, a creeping World War III, in many diverse and changing versions, has been in constant progress at different levels and in different forms.

   He likes deals. So why not make him a deal that will give him the Nobel if he would just fuck off for good?

   Besides, it's Monday, so the calendar is ready, unless he makes a deal and we don't need it anymore.

23 September 2025

entartete kunst

   Have you heard MAKING FEDERAL ARCHITECTURE BEAUTIFUL AGAIN?
   Taking the piss out of all of us, isn’t he? The guy really is out to space, too bad only mentally; maybe he should just hop on a rocket with his mates and actually take off! To Mars!

   Joking aside. Public buildings are supposed to be in a new Putinotrumpian style, meaning lots of columns, preferably gilded, everything gilded, huge – the bigger the better, and toilets made of solid gold, of course. They both like that.
   It is meant to be followed by general New Trumputinism Era in all arts; literature only about beautiful life of those two, beautiful portraits of those two only, very bombastic, music only what they accept, sculptures… and so on. Have a look around in North Korea, if in doubt.
   All different would be called Entartete Kunst.
   Don’t worry, American friends, there's a chance; before they burnt all the books and paintings, by the time they build it all – anyway, there won't be anyone to do it as ICE will take over the workers and shoot them dead, or at best, sent to El Salvador – someone at least a bit brainy will become president.

   Let's hope so! Anything else left?

24 September 2025

new trumputinism era

   As a side to yesterday's reflections on the New Trumputinism Era, we're sitting over a bottle of wine and can't figure out what language the saying is that if the Almighty wants to punish someone, takes his mind away.
   Warning! We're entering a dangerous minefield of theological considerations: why didn't the Almighty realize that by punishing him in such a cruel way – most probably rightly, for his evil deeds – was sending misfortune to so many?
   Could it be that the Almighty, tired of creating everything, overlooked something?
   God only knows.

25 September 2025

queen of the universe

   Back to the wars he so bravely ‘ended’ – he deserves not just the Nobel, but an Oscar, Grammy, Pulitzer, and Queen of the Universe crown too! It's not only the ones that dragged on, but the ones that never even started... yet could've. Bloody genius, that one!
   Ten wars only? You kidding? Much more!
   Just look at that bloody bloody conflict, which nearly drowned half a hemisphere in innocent animal blood or turned the oceans red. If not for the bold moves of a true genius: threatening Greenland and it’s penguins with attack while slapping tariffs on the penguins from Heard and McDonald Islands, he halted their inevitable clash. What foresight to spot the sparking conflict of penguin troops separated by much more than the distance between Cambodia and Armenia – and yet he held back that war too. Genius, proper genius!

   We hear he did not elaborate on what allegedly set leaders in capitals Phnom Penh and Yerevan – which are 4,150 miles apart – against each other, but he assured that war ‘was just starting, and it was a bad one’.

   Make America Great Again

29 September 2025

before they tear it down

   We're just leaving our friendly studio in Riehen, Basel, near the Beyeler Foundation, designed by Renzo Piano. Before they tear it down as part of New Trumputinism Era – if he and his pal Putin manage to invade Europe – cross off the next few days. It's Monday.

3 October 2025

very fat guy a thief

   We've already mentioned some of the close buddies of this jerk in a ballock-length tie.

   Hungarian Victor Orban, a sad but interesting figure. He used to be a pretty decent man. He wrote his master's thesis on social movements within the political system, using Poland as an example. He also studied British political philosophy at Pembroke College, University of Oxford, as a George Soros Foundation scholarship holder. In 1989, during the funeral of the leaders of the 1956 Hungarian Uprising, he delivered a courageous speech in which he paid tribute to the leaders of the uprising and demanded the withdrawal of Soviet soldiers from Hungary and the holding of free elections.
   Generally speaking, this is what decency was all about in countries under Soviet occupation after World War II.
   Today, this very fat guy is a thief fattening up by stealing EU money, has destroyed democracy in Hungary, and is sincerely friends with Putin. Of course, the guy with the slightly overlong ties, regardless of the length, cherishes Orban as his European stool pigeon.

   We'll write about the others tomorrow. We need a drink.

4 October 2025

former pimp

   We were talking of the close buddies of this jerk with the way-too-long tie. Yesterday Hungary, today even more interesting Poland: there's this electrician named Walesa, got a Nobel Prize for overthrowing communism. Okay, Reagan helped him. And 10 million Poles pissed off at the Bolshevik regime. Among them was one, not entirely pissed off, but desperate to get in on the action and seize power. He latched onto Walesa, but Walesa sensed him and throw him into the dustbin of history. As is often the case, the loser emerged and – out of hatred for Walesa, Poles, and everything – began to mess things up, until 30 years later he seized power and started fucking up democracy in Poland. As you can imagine, to Putin's delight. His name is Kaczynski. His brother died in a plane crash, and he built on it a sick religion of hatred for everything democratic, liberal, and the like.

   Tusk, the former Prime Minister, returned to local politics after years in the EU. Seems to be decent guy, though of a first name Donald, too. And he chased away those right-wing Bolshevik Catholic true ‘patriots’. And it was close to win it all, because another decent guy, whose name we can't pronounce anyway, could have won the presidential election this year – Rafał T., the mayor of Warsaw. Speaks languages, educated, good looking and sensible – so an enemy of people like your orange jerk, and JD Hillbilly, and all those who hate freedom. So the jerk and his close friend Putin stepped in, manipulated the elections, and a pimp became president – coming from neo-Nazi criminal circles and known for stealing an apartment from an elderly. Also ‘worked’ as a pimp in a hotel, and as a bouncer in a whorehouse, as local journalists found out. Sorry; so he is not a pimp, but at most a former pimp.

   Other thing, Poles behaved really well after Putin's invasion of Ukraine; they travelled by the thousands to the border, used their own cars, own money to buy food and clothes for women and children fleeing the war, and welcomed them into their own homes.

   This new president (former) pimp announced his platform: hatred of Ukrainians, fighting the Polish government until it's destroyed, and love for Trump.
   Putin is jumping for joy, or as the Poles say – they're popping champagne in the Kremlin.
   Za zdorovye!

   The thing is, some 35 years ago, 10 million Poles, Walesa, and Reagan were enough. Now, over 10 million voted for Rafał T., but no one listens to Walesa anymore. Instead of Reagan, there's an orange jerk and his close buddy Putin, and they tricked the results so the (former) pimp and a bouncer in a whorehouse won by a very slim margin.
   Well, gonna be a mess. Some say brothel.

   Hallelujah!

5 October 2025

concentration camp

   We were talking about this jerk's close friends in Hungary and Poland, now it's time for North Korea. Kim, Kim's son, Kim's grandson – all running for decades a sort of family business, have turned the country into a concentration camp. We weren't there, but we read books. We found a talk between a certain lady and a guy from the government. It was written some fifteen years ago. Listen:

   ‘You do not understand that crisis is a tool for exercising power there, and therefore it is permanent. Psychopath is not an epithet. A psychopath embodies the negative features of human nature and is able to appeal to the lowest feelings, such as envy, uncertainty and fear. Fear is often the most important because it is the strongest. In addition, conformism, the need for being taken care of which means immaturity. Tyranny is a form of paternalism, the individual becomes a subordinate and no longer has to think. Someone does it for him or her.’
   ‘Yes, yes, you heard right. What? Sounds familiar? However, I am not talking about our beloved country. I’m talking about Kim. He is an extremely skilful manipulator. He creates the appearance of madness because it serves him well in exercising power. Go back to Washington and look around – everyone there is trying to make an impression. What kind? One that is conducive to concealing the real goals. What goals? Grabbing more power, more money, more sex, more anything, just more of it. A bigger office, more assistants, more phones on the desk, more bodyguards, more lovers, a longer limousine, a bigger private jet. The mechanisms of Washington’s power are essentially no different from those over there. Only the conditions are different. Here, cynicism that is nicely wrapped up in Christian puritanism and tied with a liberal ribbon sells better. Over there, maniacal madness wrapped in barbed wire, behind which hunger and the barrels of a firing squad peek out. Our government uses an extremely complex apparatus because it is much more difficult to sell in a supermarket with full shelves. There, simple, scarcity-based Stalinist patterns are used. The foundation of all that is lack, preferably shortage of everything. Control is instituted by satisfying basic needs, at the overseer’s discretion. Here, needs must be created. There, they just need to be met at a biologically minimal level. If it doesn’t work out, too bad – hundreds of thousands will starve, so what? A bowl of rice, three hundred and eighty grams a day for an ordinary slave, twice as much and vodka for his overseer, plus a television that will let him know how lucky he is to be allowed to live. And the table lavishly set for the chief of overseers. And so on, upwards. At the top sits a god whose name is sung by birds and flowers. He is crazy, but he has got what every politician dreams of – unlimited power. And hundreds of mistresses trained to satisfy his promiscuous fantasies.’
   He listened.
   ‘Do you know what a politician dreams of when speaking from a Washington podium to millions of his compatriots?’
   He didn’t react.
   ‘The one with a mouth full of platitudes about family, honour and the homeland?’
   He moved his head.
   ‘He knows that his appearance inspires confidence because professionals made him look that way, he knows that his text is good because it was written by communication specialists, and he knows that he will look good on TV because he employs the best stylists. But do you know what he is dreaming about?’
   ‘Not really,’ he muttered.
   ‘About his secretary getting under the podium and giving him a blow job!’
   ‘Phew… ’ he sighed.
   ‘Do you know why? Because no one has done it before, and that’s what turns him on. And Kim has it all. There, political decisions are made in a brothel, drunken old men discuss the future of the country and grope school girls. How do we know about this? Because he’s deliberately allowing leaks so that your guys in Washington know about it. He has what they don’t have. He has absolute power, he is a tyrant.’

6 October 2025

earning trillions in jail

   Hungary, Poland and Norh Korea. So maybe your Leader (Führer in German) isn't that innovative and just takes what he thinks is best from his buddies.
   But he still praised Hitler's generals. Would he also stroke this guy's hands on a red carpet rolled out by American soldiers on their knees? And would he applaud him joyfully?
   We, the artists, don't know that, but we were recently in Berlin, more specifically in Potsdam, and we talked to people. You know what followers of the neo-fascist party supported by Hillbilly say? That the Wehrmacht wasn't that bad, just soldiers, and Hitler contributed to the development of modern technology and invented the highway.

   Let's leave aside linguistic considerations about the meaning of the term 'that bad'. We simply advise against comparing which murders are 'slightly better' and which are 'slightly worse,' or whether Stalin in the 1930s, Hitler in the 1940s, or is Putin now 'more' murderous in Ukraine. As for technology, perhaps we should ask how much of it was used for mass extermination and how much for global happiness. And as for Hitler's famous Autobahn, the first one was built by Italians from Milan to Lake Como, while Hitler was running around beer bars in Munich, trying to stage a coup known as the Beer Hall Putsch, for which he landed in prison. Just as the Autostrada dei Laghi was opening in Lombardy, Adolf was writing Mein Kampf in prison. When released, he set out again for power.
   By the way, he earned millions of marks from his ‘literature’.
   The conclusion from these automotive and historical stories is that those sentenced to prison should have served time there instead of seeking a return to power – it would have been much better for mankind.

   How about giving your Leader (Führer in German) a chance to write his own version of My Struggle?
   No way. Even if he's in jail, his family-Saudi’s AI will do it for him. And earn trillions.

   But it's Monday! Cross out the days and see how many are left until he lands where he should.

12 October 2025

may peace reign in the region

   We, the artists, are happy that these poor hostages have been released. They will return to their families, they survived. May peace reign in the region for longer.
   Of course, there will be an uproar about the Nobel Prize, and it has been going on for a long time; give me that! give me that fucking Nobel!
   Whatever.
   If it weren't for his deep, sincere friendship and admiration for the Kremlin war criminal, perhaps another war would have ended, or at least a ceasefire. Putin's murderers are raping Ukrainian women, kidnapping children, torturing prisoners, and this clown is rolling out the red carpet for the murderer, applauding and stroking his hands.
   We won't mention his other activities.

13 October 2025

are you still alive?

   Are you still alive? Then pick up the pen and cross them off. It's Monday!

18 October 2025

nobel prizes for being screwed

   We hear that Putin has spoken with this volatile fella in a knee-length tie, and WH is already announcing a meeting in Budapest. Quite a place chosen; they already screwed Ukraine there once.
   We, the artists, don't know much about politics, as we've highlighted many times, but we do know (besides what we know about painting and art in general): if they meet in Budapest, Putin will screw him again, unless he does it first and doesn't have to bother with Hungary.

   Do they give out Nobel Prizes for being screwed?‘

19 October 2025

(i can't get no) satisfaction

   Some time ago, we mentioned a painting by Paul Gauguin D’où venons nous? and so on. Briefly, where we're from. Leaving aside the great artist and the entire title, as well as questions about ourselves that we've already answered, it's time for a moment of looking back.

   We decided to work together two years ago, having no idea what our topic would be. We've known each other for many years; some from college, some exhibited together.

   It was precisely at the end of October and beginning of November 2023. We remember because two new albums by the Rolling Stones and the Beatles were released. Shocking. We also met the father of one of us, for whom it was even more shocking, claiming he remembers the day the Beatles broke up. He heard it on the radio and cried. And he remembers the release of the single I Can't Get No Satisfaction. He emphasized that the title was Satisfaction with the beginning in brackets (I Can't Get No) and bought the single, and on the other side was The Spider and the Fly, which he grew to like even more over time. It was his first record, and he listened to it over and over on his parents' player when they were away.

   Autumn memories. We not only read, but also like old movies, or more precisely, the good ones. We noticed that some 50 years ago a film was made that couldn't be made today, because with the consent and applause of your Leader (you know how it is in German, don’t ya?) brave warriors of the so-called right, with the support of the Capitol attackers released from prison, would have murdered the actors and hanged the director from a tree in the park, unnoticed by American soldiers, rifles in hand, raking leaves and guarding squirrels. Or perhaps feeding them? Check our posts from August 24th and 25th.
   We're talking, of course, about One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, because Miloš Forman, Jack Nicolson (McMurphy), and the rest prove that the destructive machine of power (Louise Fletcher as Nurse Ratched) can be defeated.
   Today, in Washington, just like his close buddy in the Kremlin, the prevailing belief is the opposite – the machine of power is unstoppable. Especially if these two powers work hand in hand.
   Speaking of psychiatry, anyhow advised in the case, maybe it's worth giving him this movie to watch. Maybe something will click in his head.
   More human than electroshock therapy.

20 October 2025

jerk in a very honourable position

   It’s Monday again. Yesterday, we mentioned One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, so let's dedicate today's calendar to the jerk in a very honourable position.

21 October 2025

za zdorovye!

   We're having coffee and reading morning paper: about 50 journalists have given away their passes and left the Pentagon in protest against a new policy restricting the freedom to report information without permission.
   You might say: so what?
   We, the artists, know nothing about what the Pentagon should be busy with, because it's about tanks, ballistic missiles and the like. But we have a feeling this stinks – it's not about pistols and bombs, but about confusing people. About operating on people's brains without asking their owners. The principles of primitive, sort of stone age propaganda, still linger in North Korea, where television reports the party's enormous successes in building a happy society while people starve or suffer in concentration camps, where they die from various causes. Starvation including.
   Today's advanced propaganda, aided by AI, presents information that isn't information at all, but a mixture of facts, half-truths, and lies, with the latter having a significant advantage. The question, what for? Not so that anyone would believe it, but so that they would stop believing in anything. Then the truth wouldn't even get through.

   And another question: how did the Pentagon and the White House ally themselves with the Kremlin in this act of human destruction?

   Whoever answers this question can count on a freebie from $1ArtforAmerica.
   But please don't give us any shit from AI, because that would be Kremlin propaganda. If we want to listen, we'll buy a TV and turn on Russian television, which, by the way, sponsors several American so-called right-wing media outlets.

   Za zdorovye!

22 October 2025

enough is enough

   ‘The White House said Tuesday that the planned meeting in Budapest, announced by Trump just last week after his two-hour phone call with Putin, was no longer in the works.’

   You know what? We're starting to get tired of being right, hate to say so. Sounds haughty or vain? We really wish we were wrong more often.
   Some say this clown is unpredictable. We disagree; he's painfully predictable! He always screws up everything, he can't do anything, if he does, it'll fall apart sooner or later, and if he announces something, he'll change his mind anyway. Or Putin or others will screw him over.
   And it's the same over and over again.

   In short, as a consolation, there are morons everywhere. Maybe this one, also weak-minded but with rockets, could take them all to Mars? And he himself too, of course. Sounds good.

   Enough is enough. Soon, we’ll be back to the art. We promise.

23 October 2025

tomahawk

   We don't remember if we've already admitted that, in addition to books, we sometimes read newspapers, also on paper which rustles a bit, or even more so.

   Listen: 'Putin achieved exactly what he wanted – Trump reneged on his promise to provide Ukraine with Tomahawk missiles. Now the Kremlin leader is showing who holds the cards in this game.'

   We, the artists, don't know much about politics and don't even try to engage with it, but we've always known who holds the cards in this game.

24 October 2025

it’s a very big day

   Remember yesterday? The newspaper continues: ‘Donald Trump has announced long-awaited sanctions against Russia. These measures could slow the Kremlin's war machine. Worryingly, however, this is another shift in the US president's stance on the invasion of Ukraine. There have been too many twists and turns recently to believe there's a turning point.’
   ‘I just felt it was time. We waited a long time … It’s a very big day in terms of what we’re doing,’ he added. ‘These are tremendous sanctions. They’re big.’
   Could his exceptional intelligence really have allowed him to see after 10 months what everyone else sees all the time? That would truly be a turning point.

   Hard to believe, but hey, we've been hoping for a long time that one day something will click in his head and he'll grasp at least a little bit of reality.

   See our post from June 20th.

25 October 2025

la dolce vita

   We're in Spain, leafing through morning papers over breakfast. On the front page: ‘The East Wing of the White House has been demolished to make way for a new $300 million ballroom.’
   Wow! With stolen billions, Putin buys luxurious mansions around the world through his friends crooks, and he built himself a Renaissance-kitsch-nouveau-riche palace, where everything is gilded. We, the artists, don't know the details, but the shithouse is definitely of solid gold.
   Surely his close buddy from Kremlin couldn't have it any better! So there will be a ballroom in Washington. It has to be! The king throws balls on a grand scale; a string orchestra, everything around gleaming with gold, the king on his throne chowing down on cheeseburgers. Satisfied; he's just made an important decision that gladdens his soul – he's about to fuck out this leftist orchestra and play his favourite dance tunes. Nice around; hundreds of guests, all glutton and drunk, burping. Some stoned. They slap passing ladies on the butts. Someone fell under the table, another puked. The king became sort of sad, a piece of burger got stuck in his throat, he slobbered, dirtied his tie with ketchup. Anyway, the tie got tangled between his legs. Elegant, stylish, and classy.
   Noblesse oblige, n'est-ce pas ?

   We read further: ‘The traditional headquarters for the first lady, was torn down illegally.’
   First lady? Everyone knows what he thinks about ladies and how, to his mind, they should be treated.
   Some say that this demolition is a federal crime. Well, we all know he doesn’t care. The National Trust for Historic Preservation warns it is threatening to ‘permanently disrupt the carefully balanced classical design of the White House with its two smaller, and lower, East and West Wings.’
   So what? He'll get rid of those lousy guys from some National Trust; You're fired!!!

   And so the coffee is gone, only crumbs of croissants remain, and we imagine a ball table with big jugs of liquor, whole roasted piglets with pineapple in the snout, huge cake in the shape of ‘young and beautiful piece of ass’.
   La dolce vita.

   Looks we need a drink ourselves.

26 October 2025

the cure of folly

   It was Rioja, the wine we drank in desperation for breakfast yesterday, as we've been in Spain for a few days now. It was really warm, around 80 degrees, as you'd say, but it's supposed to rain tomorrow. That's what they say.

   We promised about the art. One of our favourites is a certain Jheronimus van Aken, from present-day Aachen, better known as Hieronymus Bosch. The Prado has many of his paintings, including the most famous, The Garden of Earthly Delights, the right-hand section of which, The Last Judgment, depicts a hellish landscape – a world in which humanity has succumbed to the temptations of evil and is reaping the harvest of eternal damnation. It should hang in the Oval Office.

   Today we'll tell you about his rather enigmatic painting, also from the early 16th century, titled Cutting the Stone, also called The Cure of Folly.
   Be warned, it's about eunuchs, wrongly accused animals, madness, charlatans pretending to be someone other than who they really are, and the like.
   It might be added that in those days, stupidity and madness were considered sins, and curing the disease – through castration or by trepanation to remove the stone of stupidity – offered hope for purification.
   And so, this painting depicts trepanation, except that instead of a stone, a scalpel plucks a flower from the head of the tortured ‘patient’.
   The charlatan or surgeon performing the operation wears an upside-down funnel on his head, symbolizing fraud for Bosch. This is observed by a monk with a jug and a nun with a book on her head. The monk seems to doubt the ‘medic's’ talents, and the book on nun’s head symbolizes wisdom. The flower, in turn, both the one plucked from the head and the one on the table next to it, represent love.

   If the Prado in Madrid is not on your way, check out this painting on some internets or other computers. We'll add the meaning of the decorative inscription around the painting which reads ‘Master, rid me of this stone soon’, and ‘My name is Lubbert Das’.
   A lily flower removed from the head, a symbol of love and desire, suggests a sexual interpretation – instead of curing the patient of madness, the surgeon castrates him, depriving him of sexual desire and thus returning him to the proper path of Christian morality. The patient's name, Lubbert Das, is translated by some as ‘castrated badger’. Because a badger (das) was considered lazy. Lubbert is a male name, also used as a nickname for a fat and stupid person, and the verb ‘lubben’ means to castrate.

   Just to end this lengthy story, Bosch transforms a popular saying into an image. By adding text and mingling visual elements, he transforms it into an increasingly complex visual and verbal play.

   It wouldn't hurt if it also hung in the Oval Office.

   Make America Great Again!

27 October 2025

the cure of folly 2

   Well, yes, yesterday we wrote extensively about Bosch's painting The Cure of Folly. We warned you to be careful because yesterday's story involved eunuchs, falsely accused animals, madness, charlatans pretending to be something they are not, and the like.
   So, what's the deal with the badger? As we wrote, the decorative text surrounding the painting is, in a sense, a monologue by a poor man undergoing ‘cure’ – trepanation or castration – who calls himself a badger. This, in turn, symbolically refers to the badger's cousin, the beaver, which in ancient times was interpreted and described as a symbol of the eunuch.

   Listen please:
   ‘There is an animal called a beaver, remarkably gentle and peaceful. Its genitals are used in medicine. When it is pursued by hunters and knows it will be caught, it tears off its own genitals and throws them to the hunter. When it encounters another hunter and is pursued by him again, it falls on its back and shows itself to him. The hunter, thus realizing that the beaver has no genitals, departs.’
   It comes from The Physiologus – an early Christian anonymous Greek text. The fantastic, fabulous tales of animals and plants became an important source of Christian natural symbolism. Both European literature and art feature numerous references to the Physiologus – from here we know the stories of the unicorn that allows itself to be captured only by a virgin. Also a lion whose young are born dead and are given life when the old lion breathes on them, and of a phoenix that burns itself alive and rises from the ashes on the third day; both are considered types of Christ.

   Hallelujah!

   PS Thankfully, it's Monday. To temporarily relax from the emotions stirred by mysterious phenomena from the distant past, grab a pen and cross off the days before he himself (since he's not yet cured) razes the White House to the ground.

28 October 2025

we don't mix paint with shit

   Over the next few days, we'll try to answer your questions. For example, about the language, painting techniques, and a few others.

   Do we use English because we're connected to Great Britain? Each of us has spent more or less time in Great Britain, that's true, but firstly, we use English because we're addressing you, fellow Americans. Secondly, because we all know English, some better than others, but we get along. Although one of us sometimes sneers a bit and says, ‘Try harder!’

   You sometimes accuse us of sloppy painting, of not putting in the effort to make it perfect. We don't agree with ‘sloppy’, but we really don't pay attention to detail. Not too much. When it comes to perfection, fellow Americans, you're entering a minefield of the theory of art and aesthetics. Let it go. To put it briefly: does the subject of our interest deserve any kind of perfection? On the other hand, we consciously avoid controversy; remember the uproar over Chris Ofili's exhibition and his The Holy Virgin Mary, painted with paints mixed with elephant dung? We don't mix paint with shit, after all, or should we?
   One of us, during his student days, earned some extra in a screen printing studio, where absolute precision was required. Now he says he finally has the freedom to express himself – sometimes precision serves a purpose, sometimes quite the opposite.

   More tomorrow, see ya!

29 October 2025

world is about making money

   Among the questions you ask, there's also the one of money. Why do we do something for free when everything in the world is about making money? In art, too.
   Our answers:
   1. 'Everything in the world' – which one? Because it's not ours.
   2. 'Everything is about making money' – as you can see, not everything. Throw this answer at the AI, and it'll hallucinate.
   3. 'In art, too,' – Trump boasted about his acquaintance with Andy Warhol and quoted him: 'I've often referred to business as being art. I've always liked Andy Warhol's statement that, "making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art." I agree.'
   The thing is, Warhol had a different take on Trump: 'I think Trump's sort of cheap, I get that feeling.'

   Each of us sells own art for whatever price is appropriate. We can afford to make art for you, fellow Americans, to cheer you up and not charge much, or even any. For now. You'll still pay $1 plus shipping one day.
   We don't need to screw up others, to have around cheated partners, to be made of underhanded cash, embezzled big dosh, scams, and all that is so dear to Andy's fan who didn't know that Andy thought he was cheap.
   And don't feed this to the AI, or the servers in Moscow will overheat and AI will be engulfed in a digital mirage.

30 October 2025

the most remarkable piece of art of the future

   You also ask why we don't use AI to create art when everyone does.
   We aren’t everyone.
   We don't use AI because we don't.
   But two of us came up with a painting created by computers before it actually happened.
   It went like this: she and he were in Switzerland with their joint exhibition. As is often the case in Switzerland, the exhibition was ready a few days before the opening. As usual, they were reading the newspaper over morning coffee. It was late September 2008. They'd read there had been a failure at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN near Geneva. Somehow, with the extra time, they came up with the idea for a short story, which they wrote together in one day.
   In a few sentences: a painter sits in a bar in Geneva, drinking. Next to him, three rather sad young guys are getting drunk. A bit odd, disheveled. Actually, they look a bit like him, except they're talking about computers. The painter joins them. It turns out they're CERN scientists, programmers. They have nothing to do because of the breakdown. After a few more rounds, the painter asks them if the computers are broken too. It turns out they aren't, some magnets have damaged part of the installation, and the repair will take a long time. The painter further asks if they could store all the art images of the world in the computers' memory and commission them to create the most magnificent painting of the future.

   To cut a long story short, the computer scientists agree, and after several weeks of somewhat, or rather completely, illegal work on CERN's supercomputers, the most magnificent piece of art of the future is created.
   And there the story ends.

   Then came the opening, other matters, and they forgot about the story.
   They showed it to us ten years later, when we all learned that a painting created by three Parisian students using artificial intelligence had sold at Christie's for over $400K.

   We all enjoyed the story; we even discussed the significance of the ending; Did this painting make a splash somewhere, did someone gain fame and fortune thanks to it, or did it go unnoticed and disappear because it was created too soon? After all, it was the most remarkable piece of art of the future. But what future? The near future or the very distant future? And not a word about what it looked like. They, the authors – some of us here today – had a great time sharing their thoughts, but they never told us what was on their minds when they wrote it.
   The thing is, as is often the case with us, it was written on sheets of paper, or more precisely, in an ordinary school notebook, which later disappeared somewhere.

   Please note! We never met these three Parisian students, but it's cool that they did what they did. We know nothing about them. Some of us are around the same age probably, but we're not them. And they're not us.
   Cheers!

31 October 2025

we stay away from every shittation

   Hey everyone! It's been months of our shared adventure. Besides, Halloween is coming, time for zombies and the like.
   As mentioned, we've received letters about AI, and had a meeting with an expert in monetizing AI. This happened thanks to a friend of ours, whom he liked so much that, to charm her, he started telling her about his successes. She suggested a larger meeting, so we listened too.
   This expert told us how, in just a few hours, he's able to ‘produce’ over a hundred different ‘almost real’ photos and short videos, as well as hundreds of posts, blogs, texts, articles, and guides on various topics. Then he publishes it all – that is, uploads it online – and makes money. How? Facebook pays for whatever content that resonates well. And Facebook users, tempted by the slop, click on it and go to another blog, where he earns more by displaying ads. Slop is, he claims, his work tool. And his clients are over 50 because they understand little of the modern world and don't even know what enshittification is.
   And that's where the meeting ended; the slop-expert was running out of time (time is money, and he clearly realized that nothing will come of shagging).
   We were left with an existential unease mixed with a slight sense of satisfaction. Unease – because despite our young age, we weren't familiar with the concept of enshittification, and a slight sense of satisfaction – because we stay away from every shittation.

   You know, we've never used AI, we avoid the internet. As mentioned, we read books and papers, paint, and use different graphic techniques, including screen printing. We also use publicly available photos that we process ourselves. It might be hard to believe, but it's a slow process, one might even say manual. We also write our notes with pen and paper. Believe it? You gotcha!

   Yes, we know. Some are making money off of AI, WH moron and his family billions, soon trillions. And people will soon go completely out of mind. It happens.
   It was, at least the term AI, invented in the States long before he invaded WH. We hear that visitors feel somewhat obligated to blow smoke up his ass. Well, new routine. By the way, do you know where this saying comes from? AI is not the first invention from across the pond; in the 18th century, a method of rescuing drowned people in London involved blowing tobacco smoke into ass. The idea originated in North America, and British doctors adopted it and began using tobacco enemas to resuscitate apparently drowned people pulled from the Thames. Life-saving stations were set up along the Thames with publicly available resuscitation kits that included bellows, tubing, and tobacco pipes for administering smoke enemas.

   You're probably wondering why the hell we're writing about this? Knowing us and our posts dated April 25th and 9 September, you're probably thinking that now we'll be talking about how, since Putin transplants parts of pigs and monkeys to live to 150, they'll install a rejuvenating tobacco enema kit in the White House next to the stylish ass-kissing station?

   Well, no. We wrote this to ask whether AI could create a similarly perfect intellectual construct.
   We good?

   And don't give in to zombies tonight!

1 November 2025

zombies fled screaming in terror

   Halloween seems to have passed peacefully at the White House; the zombies just stood there totally freaked out, scared of bulldozers demolishing the East Wing. And then, upon seeing him around, they fled screaming in terror.

2 November 2025

we ain’t well-versed in swindles

   You know, we, the artists, ain’t well-versed in matters like economics, swindles, big dosh, and politics. For example, we recently read with some surprise that they were arguing about nanoseconds and antennas on the roofs of the London Stock Exchange to make billions more.
   Go ahead, guys! Don’t forget about homeless, starving and those who will become so because of a guy in a tie with its own postcode.

   We also read once that during the last great crisis, when banks were collapsing and people were losing their homes and life savings due to the greed of various brokers, bankers, and politicians lining their backs, a certain con artist, most probably from Wall Street, stole so much that having money to burn he bought seven private jets. True or not, doesn't matter. Leaving aside why anyone would need seven jets – unless to please the Almighty, each for a different day of the week – we wondered back then what drives people to want trillions, and more, and more.
   We're revisiting this because now the guys around the White House are already fighting over zillions.
   And maybe we know; when you have such an incredible heap of dosh, you can do anything. Even cut someone you don't like into pieces and carry away in a suitcase – they'll respect you and bow down to you.
   At least, you may think so.

   Make America Great Again!

3 November 2025

difficult days, cross them off

   The beginning of a new week, Monday. If you've survived those difficult days, cross them off.
   Best of luck!

4 November 2025

enormous success

   We read that he returned from a long trip to Asia, where he achieved ‘enormous success’ with the Chinese, having managed to fix some of the things he had previously screwed up. Time will tell for how long, and what he'll screw up again next. We don't know what private swindles he pulled off on the side. However, we do know that he hasn't visited Heard and McDonald Islands, where he could have tried to reach an agreement with the somewhat resentful penguins on whom he imposed tariffs. Time will tell how Skipper, Rico, Kowalski and Private react to this.
   We, the artists, remain strongly influenced by ‘Idiot Wind’ from the album Blood on the Tracks:
   ‘You're an idiot, babe
   It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe’.

5 November 2025

what a tacky maybach

   And so autumn has arrived. A few memories from summer, shall we?
   Holidays, travelling. We haven't mentioned cars yet; we like bikes the most, and we also use trains. Let us share with you one of our stories on cars: some time ago, we went to a summer party at an old inn in the Cotswolds. Easy time, relaxed. One guy was playing guitar, two girls singing.
   There was a large terrace overlooking the side street. Some fella pulls up in a two-tone coloured limo – light golden-brown, but the roof and bonnet shiny pearly. Or vice versa. That fella, a bit overweight but in fashion as straight out of a magazine. Trying to attract attention, also to his, probably outrageously expensive limo, as he's parked right next to the terrace. Someone says, ‘What a tacky Maybach’, but no one really pays attention to the guy. He wanders around for a bit, probably realizes it’s not his place, and drives away.

   Our advice: Guys, don't buy yourselves those awful limousines the colour of latte-overdose shits, even if limo’s length makes you think it will convince someone your penis is longer than it actually is. Quite the opposite – just look at the length of what the guy in the White House drives. Even if it’s black as his soul.

   Getting back to what we drive besides bikes and trains, we also have a car, useful for various occasions. Like vacations.

   We bought it for pennies two years ago. Back then, we rented our first shared studio from an elderly couple somewhere in the countryside, and behind the barn was something covered in rags. The owners called it a ‘Bay Window.’ It turned out to be an old VW Transporter, badly neglected. Plus, chickens were living in at least for a while as inside it was, putting it mildly, unclean.
   The owners told us that in their younger years, it had been used as a hippie van and they'd sell it to us if we promised to take care of it. It went to a nearby garage, where the mechanics took a good look at it, saying that with today's computer-controlled cars you don’t fix things only exchange with new parts. They judged the Bus was in surprisingly good mechanical condition, but it needed, as they put it, all sorts of works of other kinds. So they removed what was lefts by chicken, stripped of the remaining paint and upholstery, restored and repaired everything necessary. Finally, for the price of a little plastic car, we got a beautiful Bus that fits all of us and our vacation stuff. We can sleep in if necessary, and even carry a few paintings. It won’t hold a concert grand piano, but none of us play.

   We've been a bit too talkative about our Bus, so hope you don’t mind us telling about the last time we drove it for vacation only tomorrow.
   See ya, guys!

6 November 2025

villa e-1027

   Yesterday we talked about our bus, namely model T2 from the early 1970s. And it's not painted brightly with psychedelic designs, but a polite pastel blue, like the serene sky above us.
   Today, as promised, we're talking about a summer trip: We were in Italy, as we've written before, in our favourite area of Tuscany, a tourist-free place somewhere far from Siena. Then we went to a long-awaited meeting in Florence to enter Santa Maria del Fiore on a Sunday, when tourists ain’t allowed in. We won't tell you how we do this, very rarely by the way, thanks to the connections of the owner of a certain art gallery, because these visits, so precious to us, ain’t entirely legal – but for the noble purpose of contemplating the greatness of Renaissance art.
   One day, just go there, and admire wonders of Renaissance as much as you wish. We recommend an extraordinary painting by perhaps not the greatest Renaissance painter, di Michelino, depicting Dante Alighieri with Florence and the realms of the Divine Comedy; Hell, Purgatory and Paradise. What's so extraordinary about it? Everything. We won't describe it today, as we could go on forever. But here's a tip: compare the figure of Dante in the centre of the composition holding the Divine Comedy with the last painting by Kazimir Malevitch in Renaissance garb, his hands seemingly embracing the space of a square. A Black Square. We'll return to this another time.

   Next, we drove to Genoa and continued along the coast towards Monaco. If you’re ever around, turn off the highway and take the side roads to Menton and then on to Cap Martin. And here begins our story about a great, albeit little-known artist and her magnificent work near Cap Martin, which won't be destroyed by your jerk with the overly long tie and his desire to build trivial, gilded, pseudo-Rococo junk with columns and all that crap. It's also a story about a great artist who was just as much chauvinistic prick as your jerk. His name was Le Corbusier.

   We're talking about Villa E-1027, designed by Eileen Gray in 1920s. She had no architectural training, and Villa E-1027 was her first completed building. Today, considered one of the icons of modernist architecture is a testament to the skills of Irish-born Gray as a designer. Her undeniable talent, in fact, sparked a conflict with Le Corbusier, who was simply envious of her genius.
   When no one was in the villa, he got inside and painted erotic murals in the style of Picasso on the purist white interior walls. Despite Gray's explicit instructions that nothing should be on the walls, or rather precisely because of it. He said, 'I admit the mural is not to enhance the wall, but on the contrary, it means to violently destroy it.' As if that wasn't enough, just to add insult to injury, Le Corbusier painted nude. It was a clear act of destruction and a domination over Gray's talent.
   He even tried to buy the villa, but failed, so he designed and built a retreat for himself – a log cabin right next to the Gray's villa.

   The history of modernism and these two would be a long story. Finally, Eileen Gray, although much older than Le Corbusier, lived to almost a hundred, while he, in the summer of 1965, drowned while swimming in the sea next to his retreat and her beautiful villa, E-1027.

   Go there someday and see for yourself, instead of pestering half-wit AI that can at best mix up facts with hallucinations and lie pretending to know.
   We'll soon tell you where the name E-1027 comes from, and more about modern art from a hundred years ago.

7 November 2025

pterodactyls flying over the statue of liberty

   We don't follow current events, we don't watch TV, and if so, it's mostly by chance. We missed the latest news.
   Firstly, about the shutdown; people won't be paid, planes won't fly, nuclear reactors uncontrolled, and the like. Dear American friends, despite our sincere sympathy for you, you've chosen a loony guy more suited to rule a brothel in Burkina Faso than to lead the free world, so don't be surprised. Armed soldiers are cleaning up parks – we guess rakes are cheaper than machine guns, aren’t they? Looks like the trainwreck is on the horizon, and we saw it coming all along. And yet, our eyes widen in astonishment: American soldiers in Germany have received addresses of charity food pantries for the poor cause they have nothing to eat. We didn't expect this merger of two great armies – the US Army and the Salvation Army.

   The second thing: traditionally, we don't comment on politics cause we know little about it, only that it's as dull as ditchwater and generally doesn't smell good. But for purely personal reasons, we're happy that the Democratic candidate became mayor of New York, even though NYC was being blackmailed by your so-called Leader with budget cuts, military deployments and the like.
   Our personal joy, however, is tinged with anxiety about whether we'll ever be able to safely pop into Fanelli's for a bite, stroll through MoMA to feast our senses on the masterpieces they have, or seek the meaning of life in one of those spots where, on a Saturday mornings, one could still meet those who hadn't yet finished Friday night and others who needed a drink before morning mass - as we've already described. Or whether we'll be able to visit some of the private galleries showcasing contemporary art and collections of works from years past unavailable elsewhere, listen to jazz or go to an Arvo Pärt concert – as one of us recently managed at Carnegie Hall.

   NYC is an interesting place and there's a chance it will remain that way, although, dear New Yorkers, beware – if you see a flock of pterodactyls flying over the Statue of Liberty, it might turn out to be an attack by the US military on your city.
   Assuming they have something to eat.
   This loony of yours gluttonizes enough. And is vengeful, reacting to defeats with fits of rage, and he's already announced the sending of soldiers into your streets.

   Take care!

8 November 2025

oh, look, i'm sitting in the oval office!

   We were supposed to write about art to distract you from the worries of everyday life, but we fell victim ourselves; we read in the newspaper over breakfast about ‘the Radical Left Media, all slanted heavily toward Democrats and Far Left Wingers’.
   And immediately the coffee stopped tasting good.

   Then, there was about ‘Fake Polls’, as it turned out you were getting more and more fed up with him. A little late, but better than never.

   At the end: ‘Oh, look, I'm sitting in the Oval Office!’
   And this is unfortunately the sad truth.

9 November 2025

before you exhaust yourself chasing trillions, consider paintings

   You know, we mostly talk about art and artists, but sometimes some shady characters pop up, like Benito Mussolini. Everyone knows he was a dictator and the founder of Italian fascism, and that he met a miserable end – after he was killed, his body was hung by the feet in Milan and desecrated by the mob. But he was also greedy and avaricious – leaving his residence, he stole a big dosh from state funds, and kept a lot of gold bars and jewelry.
   Putin, for example, basically stole the entire country, so there's no point in estimating how much. A lot.
   As for the shenanigans of Elon, we know nothing. From what we can see, poor guy is constantly stoned, something must be bothering him. So rich that tried to become a God, and things didn't work out?
   Kim – since his entire nation is starving in the concentration camp he turned his country into – is constantly stuffing himself like a pig. Will burst soon.
   Hitler also tried to make a buck – he ordered everyone to buy Mein Kampf he scribbled down in jail. Joseph Goebbels praised the book, referring to the Bible: ‘Germany has lived to see its greatest work, its Gospel! It turns out that our Führer is not only the best German orator, but also the most widely read German writer’.
   What was Hitler’s end, everyone knows – the stench of burning wafted through the ruins of Berlin for a while.

   Your Leader (you know how it is in German, right?) always stole as much as he could, cheated his partners, even paid a prostitute with some slush fund. And he cheated on taxes, still does by turning a golf course into a cemetery and a farm for harvesting hay, grazing goats, and the like. A certain lawyer told us it's called the ‘trifecta of tax avoidance’. How about breeding alligators in Florida to sell them to ICE to guard the immigrants he sends there? Plus government subsidies for supporting the rule of law? A few extra millions won't hurt. Interesting what he'll take out of the White House when they finally kick him out – probably everything. Maybe he'll even rip out the doors, windows, bathroom fixtures, and tear up the floors – a builder, after all. Things might come in handy.
   Whatever.
   Either way, each of them would like to be rich beyond the dreams of avarice.

   We were supposed to talk about art. There were two almost contemporaries—arguably the greatest artist of the German Renaissance, Albrecht Dürer, and the Venetian Giorgione. Besides, they met in Venice, which that moron AI surely has no idea about. We mention them and their mutual influence because they both painted two very different paintings, yet devoted to the same subject. Dürer, a graphic artist, printmaker, and art theorist also painted. His painting Allegorie des Geizes, better known as Avarice, grotesquely depicts an old woman, probably beautiful in her youth, with wrinkled skin and a rather unpleasant smile revealing her only two remaining teeth, yet she holds a bag of gold coins. Interestingly, this rather colorful painting, thickly painted (impasto, as we painters call it), has a dark, very Venetian background. Almost identical to Giorgione's painting Col tempo, meaning ‘With time’. It is unknown who it depicts – an old lady with wrinkles looks directly into the eyes of the viewer. Her mouth is half open to speak, possibly the words on the small scroll in her hand with the writing col tempo. Her teeth crooked, sad face, untidy, greying hair is kept untidily. This painting is strange in the work of a painter known for harmony and admiration for the beauty of the world and mankind. La Vecchia, other title often used meaning ‘The old woman’ – is one of Giorgione's most enigmatic paintings. His art anyhow is difficult to read, complex, hermetic, intended only for a narrow audience. La vecchia is surprising because there is no other work like it from the turn of the 15th and 16th centuries, although there were attempts to depict ugliness, for example by Leonardo da Vinci. There is, in fact, a connection: Giorgione had access to Leonardo's sketches. Moreover, the painting was repainted, its original composition was different.

   So what, at least for some? Our traditional advice: before you exhaust yourself chasing trillions, consider paintings. Having no such problems, or in another troublesome situation, do the same.

10 November 2025

guy in the floor-length tie – con artist?

   Well, yes, we say we're mostly talking about art and artists, but here and there, some gloomy characters keep popping up. Various thieves, frauds, pervert politicians with shady souls. You could say, forces of darkness.
   Of course, artists are more interesting, but admit it – that guy in the floor-length tie is an artist too. Con artist.

   Luckily, it's Monday, so grab the pen, and you know what to do with it, right?

11 November 2025

trump's sort of cheap

   Among the questions you ask, there's also the one of money. Why do we do something for free when everything in the world is about making money? In art, too.
   Our answers:
   1. 'Everything in the world' – which one? Because it's not ours.
   2. 'Everything is about making money' – as you can see, not everything. Throw this answer at the AI, and it'll hallucinate.
   3. 'In art, too,' – Trump boasted about his acquaintance with Andy Warhol and quoted him: 'I've often referred to business as being art. I've always liked Andy Warhol's statement that, "making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art." I agree.'
   The thing is, Warhol had a different take on Trump: 'I think Trump's sort of cheap, I get that feeling.'

   Each of us sells own art for whatever price is appropriate. We can afford to make art for you, dear Americans, to cheer you up and not charge much, or even any. For now. You'll still pay $1 plus shipping one day.
   We don't need to screw up others, to have around cheated partners, to be made of underhanded cash, embezzled big dosh, scams, and all that is so dear to Andy's fan who didn't know that Andy thought he was cheap.
   And don't feed this to the AI, or the servers in Moscow will overheat and AI will be engulfed in a digital mirage.

12 November 2025

pecunia non olet

   Don't know if you remember, but last summer we rented a studio in the Cotswolds from an elderly lady who loved flowers and lawns trampled by secret agents and policemen patrolling all around to keep Hillbilly from hearing the protests of local residents who were offering him to ‘Sod Off’.

   We spoke with her recently, and in her concern for greenery, she complained that people thoughtlessly collect leaves from lawns in the autumn: ‘It's stupid because it takes nutrients from the soil and removes winter shelter from insects and other small creatures. What's more, these idiots use petrol blowers and tractors, which are noisy and stink, and the leaves would decompose in a few months anyway’.

   You're wondering why the hell we’re boring you, dear Americans, with all this? Well, what have your brave soldiers been doing in Washington's parks lately? Commander in Chief, or as some call him ‘in Cheat’, sent them to scare people on the streets. He wouldn't send them to fuck out the criminal perverts who attacked, raped, and murdered Ukrainians – he might offend his close buddy Putin, whom he trusts and admires.

   Perhaps it's time for your brave soldiers to give up their mindless leaf-raking and help their colleagues in Germany, since Commander in Chief (Cheat) is sending them to free feeding stations for the poor. Most of the customers there are probably immigrants, so maybe he could send in some ICE supermen –v they'd get a meal and a little empathy.

   By the way, we've seen videos of hungry Putin soldiers catching chickens in a pen somewhere in the Ukrainian countryside. Why should Putin feed them? They'll be killed anyway. And some extra dosh from the war will come in handy. And that's what connects these two dear friends – extra dosh always comes in handy.
   Pecunia non olet – however, we are quite sure that Vespasian, when imposing taxes on shithouses, would never imagined ones made of solid gold.
   Take good care of your lawn, but remember, it doesn’t have to shine like a golden shithouse.

13 November 2025

dear attentive readers

   Dear attentive readers of our posts: someone has accused us of showing off our poor French and writing without meaning. This refers to our post from March 13th.

   As for our French, we admit that one of us speaks it better than English, while the rest only a little. We’ve been over this, haven’t we? We write in English, first off, because we’re addressing you, our American mates; and second, because all of us know English (some of us better than others, granted), so it’s the language we go with. But showing off? Heaven forbid – the thought never even crossed our minds. It’s simply that certain phrases in French or Latin can sometimes be helpful. C'est tout.
   As for the meaning: back then we mentioned Marcel Duchamp, which is how même came into play. You see, all sorts of associations run through our heads. In Duchamp's case, the obvious one is his famous ‘antimasterpiece’, as he himself called Mariee mise à nu par ses célibataires, même, or The Bride Stripped Bare by Her Bachelors, Even, also known as The Large Glass.

   He began work on this piece in 1915 – the same year Malevich painted his The Black Square – and completed it in 1923. Duchamp declared it his last work and turned to playing chess. The Large Glass is incredibly enigmatic work, full of metaphors and references to his earlier works and even, as some critics claim, to other modernist works and concepts from psychoanalysis. Duchamp himself described it as a ‘hilarious picture’ depicting the erotic encounter between a bride and her nine bachelors.
   Good.

   Anyway, there’s plenty written about The Large Glass – critics, historians, and artists alike have dissected it from every possible angle – and you can see it at the PhAM at Eakins Oval, Philadelphia.
   There, you'll also learn what surprised the art world when it turned out The Large Glass wasn't actually his last work. After a 25-year break devoted to chess, Duchamp secretly spent another twenty years creating his truly final piece, Étant donnés, which you also can view at the Philadelphia Art Museum. To avoid surprises, it's presented as a peep show.

   And so, being called on by our attentive observer, we've written a few words about one of the most important artists of the twentieth century, one of the most prominent founders of Dadaism – as we promised back in March. Btw, we mentioned Duchamp earlier when reflecting on the solid-gold shithouses of Putin and his close buddy in the White House, noting then that we, the artists, haven't faced the same problems as these two since Duchamp invented the urinal.
   Hello!

14 November 2025

magical city and loose cowboy pants

    We admit we have our man in Central Europe. More precisely, in Prague, the Czech Republic. A magical city, by the way. Our friend is Czech and has many friends in the countries around; in Slovakia, of course, because these two countries were once one, but also in Hungary and Poland.

   We meet, and he tells us interesting stories. For example, that in a Prague beer hall he met a sad Slovak who confided in him that he was running away because he was a policeman, or even a special agent after dangerous outlaws and other mafia guys. But in Slovakia, they have such ties in the police, prosecutors, and ministries that it's scary to catch them – you could get into serious trouble. Finally, before he got completely drunk, he said: ‘I used to dream of going to the USA, but soon it will be like Slovakia, or even worse’.
   That's how it is with dreams.

   Our friend had a Hungarian wife, and now a girlfriend in Krakow, and he knows a lot about both Hungary and Poland. Recently, Polish so-called right-wing politicians have been fleeing to Hungary to join Orban, a friend of Putin and Trump. Because they lost the election in Poland two years ago, and it turned out that the entire so called right-wing group is a mafia and thieves. Now Orban is sheltering a former justice minister and his deputy as arrest warrants have been issued for them. Another guy accused of stealing hundreds of millions was caught in London and thrown into the somewhat eerie Wandsworth prison – not exactly a luxury resort. The guy is awaiting trial and extradition.
   It's true that a former pimp won the recent presidential election in Poland thanks to Trump's support, much to Putin's delight, but it's also possible that Orban will lose power in next year's Hungarian elections, and then where will these Polish right-wing Putin-Trump cronies go? To Mars?

   You know, children have dreams of becoming firefighters, cowboys, pirates. Or astronauts flying to Mars.You know, children have dreams of becoming firefighters, cowboys, pirates. Or astronauts flying to Mars.
   Goethe said something like: ‘Beware of what you wish for in youth, because you will get it in middle life’.
   We mean Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, if in doubt. The one with Faust and The Sorrows of Young Werther. Let's leave Faust for later; it's a more serious stuff. Goethe wrote The Sorrows… around the time Jefferson purchased French Louisiana from Napoleon, and the book had become so popular that men were dressing exactly as described in the novel – a yellow waistcoat and blue tailcoat. But, fellow Americans, don't worry; your Leader (Führer in German) won’t dress this way. Firstly, this outfit was associated with Werther's sensitive and emotional personality – doesn't suit that cad of yours. Besides, for the tailcoat (he anyhow can barely fit into) he prefers loose cowboy pants or the like.
   Make America Great Again!

15 November 2025

artificial – yes, but supposedly intelligent

   Some time ago, we received an email from an AI enthusiast who stated it was impossible for us not to use AI. This incredibly useful tool, he claims, can instantly write something that would take humans a very long time. Moreover, humans can make mistakes, AI not.

   Your faith, dear AI enthusiast, like any faith, is likely profound, and so as not to violate your dignity or, God forbid, oppose any faith, we won't go into detail about your beliefs. Instead, we would propose a simple experiment. Please take a look at our yesterday's post and ask AI to write about a fugitive Minister of Justice, a Slovak special agent pursuing mobs who drank heavily and had dreams about the USA, a pimp who became president, and have it connect the dots with Goethe and cowboy pants at the King of England's ball. Artificial – yes, but supposedly intelligent.
   Have fun!

16 November 2025

maestro, bravissimo!

   Imagine asking AI to write something about the CIA, the Rolling Stones, Pope John Paul II chatting with Hitler, landing on the Moon and Goethe. Add to that Russian spies, Andy Warhol, Queen Elizabeth, Carlie Chaplin, the caution of British intelligence and the assumption, bordering on certainty, that Trump will introduce communist-style censorship.
   AI, get going!

   Meanwhile, here's what we, the artists, have to say:
   We've already recommended George Orwell to you, dear Americans. Until now, only Nineteen Eighty-Four, so that you could see without a crystal ball what awaits you or has already come: thought police, new-speak, doublethink, thoughtcrime, etc. Now we add Animal Farm. A book Orwell wrote under the influence of what he saw in Spain, where he was pursued by agents of the Stalinist NKVD. He also witnessed their murder of soldiers fighting on the Spanish front – in the name of revolution, by the way. His intention was to write a simple story exposing Soviet myths so that everyone could understand.

   Orwell had trouble publishing Animal Farm during World War II because British intelligence feared irritating Stalin, then an Ally. Moreover, its release was withheld on the advice of a senior official in the Ministry of Information, who was a Soviet spy, an NKVD agent named Peter Smollett. Good thing he didn't murder Orwell.
   After the war, the Americans refused to publish it, claiming that books about animals ‘didn't sell’. It was eventually published in Great Britain, a year later in the US, and the reviews were enthusiastic. Of course, the book was banned in countries under Russian control until the fall of the Berlin Wall, and in Russia where possession of it was punishable by imprisonment. Why? Because it's not just a satire of Stalin, his men, and communist propaganda, but a critique of all totalitarianism. As you can imagine, it's about to be added to the list of banned reading in American schools. If it's not already there. Because it's the source of the phrase ‘All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others’. After all, it's nothing else than a furious attack by leftist fakers on the foundations of the American Beautiful New or the like.

   Animal Farm almost vanished forever; As the author himself put it, the manuscript was ‘blitzed’ – Orwell's London apartment was destroyed during the V-1 attack, a rocket designed by Wernher von Braun. The same one who sent Armstrong and his mates to the Moon a quarter-century later.

   Just read the book; it's still available in the US, but imagine how difficult it was to obtain in the 1950s in Hungary, Poland, and Czechoslovakia, where the CIA sent it in balloons that brave defenders of communism tried to shoot down.

   And talking about Central Europe, yesterday we wrote about our friend from Prague. After meeting him, we continued north to Estonia. On the way, we stopped at a theatre in Warsaw to see Faust – rarely performed due to difficult to convey the depth of Goethe's metaphysics. The opening scene, a wager between the Lord and Satan (Mephisto) depicts a world where Heaven and Hell coexist. We saw a rather unusual spectacle in which strange music and surprising visual effects accompany talks between John Paul II and Hitler, presumably God and the Devil. Btw, there are many of Devils there, including women. Chiron, the guide to hell, looks like Gorbachev and shouts something about Chernobyl. Queen Elizabeth, Andy Warhol, and Charlie Chaplin also appear. Evil is depicted through Holocaust, Nazi uniforms and the greed of the Church. It's true that Faust himself, hand in hand with Margarita, climbs the stairway to salvation at the end, but the whole thing is a bit weird to grasp. Not of the language barrier – we know Faust well, and the theatre uses a unique, universally understandable language anyway.

   Regarding the God-Devil debate, we're more convinced by Bulgakov's The Master and Margarita, with its motto from Faust: ‘I am part of that Power that eternally desires Evil and eternally works Good’. In any case, Bulgakov also convinced the Rolling Stones with their song ‘Sympathy for the Devil’.

   If you're wondering what a supposedly intelligent AI might come up, one of our friends, good at dealing with AI, asked it and received an answer within 30 seconds (real fast!):
   ‘The CIA shaped Cold War espionage, while cultural icons like the Rolling Stones, Andy Warhol, and Chaplin reflected societal change. Pope John Paul II never met Hitler, but Cold War diplomacy was complex. British intelligence stayed cautious as Russian spies operated; fears grow that America may adopt communist-style censorship amid ongoing political tensions.’

   Maestro, bravissimo! We were mistaken, expecting only hallucinations.

17 November 2025

grab your pens

   What’s the weather doing? Snowed under? Blustery? Chucking it down? Anyway, hang in there – the weather’s nothing to fuss about.

   But it’s Monday, grab your pens, and cross off the days until this nightmare ends!

18 November 2025

what the fuck, give me that nobel!

   It went like this: he pigged out late, slept badly, woke up early, burped, then roared at the nearest lackey, ‘What the fuck, give me that Nobel!’
   The truth is, we don’t know if this was really the case. But what is truth, anyway? ‘Truth and falsity are in the proposition, and this is expressed by its having sense or nonsense’ – Ludwig Wittgenstein, Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus.
   It seems lying is a bit simpler. Recently, we wrote about lying – maybe at too much length. Now, briefly: the magic of the big lie that fascinated Hitler is as old as human greed and lust for power. The creator of a modern system built on lies was Lenin. He supposedly died of syphilis – true or false? Whatever, good riddance he’s gone for good.
   Lenin turns up often in our work and will appear even more in the future, as he’s the godfather of your somewhat loony Leader (Führer in German).

   Make America Great Again

19 November 2025

they're going to be like, dead

   We recently mentioned Wittgenstein’s Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus again, but we didn't add that Lenin’s successor was Stalin, who was dying mucked with his own excrement – true or false? One of Stalin’s most perverted buddies, one of the most influential of Stalin's secret police chiefs, was Beria whom allegedly his own comrades strangled with his own belt during a meeting of the Central Committee – true or false? Whatever, good riddance; they’re both gone for good.

   What does all this mean? And as for Lenin dying of syphilis? Perverts in power eventually go to hell. In various ways. Usually the unpleasant kind.

   Wonder how Putin – the heir to Lenin, Stalin, and Beria – will leave this world? We know he hopes to live to 150; they’re breeding piglets and transplanting their organs into monkeys to ‘humanize’ them – organs, not monkeys. Then, supposedly, they’ll transplant them into Putin – as we’ve said before. We also suspect Putin will start oinking and vigorously scratching his ass.

   We, the artists, have no idea whether Putin's close buddy in the White House wants to live to 150. In either case, we wish him good health.

   Btw, have you heard, ‘Okay? We're going to kill them. They're going to be like, dead’.

   Make America Great Again

20 November 2025

our little blast from the past

   Well, apparently we’re snobs, talking about the difficult classical music of some Estonian.
   Not just some Estonian – the magical, distinguished Arvo Pärt.

   That said, we’re not all about sitting silent and serious. We go to all sorts of events and concerts far removed from Arvo Pärt’s transcendent sublimity, which demands deep concentration. We’ve been to the Rolling Stones few times. This year we caught Raye at All Points East, and Massive Attack were their usual phenomenal selves – all commitment and a touch of magic, really. We also stumbled across the brilliant new Emily with Linkin Park, and rounded things off with the amazing Green Day – our little blast from the past for you.

   Cheers!

21 November 2025

a tiny shakespearean flavour

   We're trying to answer your questions. Recently, two very different ones: a gentleman from Wales remarked that, although he isn’t keen on our often rather low-brow language – the street style of contemporary youth, as he puts it – he nevertheless senses a certain classical literary note in the irony we use in addressing our American readers. He says he can’t quite put his finger on it, and has asked for an explanation. The second, from someone named Jacob from New York, concerns our constant, as he claims, invocations of events from the history of communism and fascism as if they had a direct relevance to the present.

   Starting with the second: yes, they do have a direct relevance to the present. Even yesterday's: here's a right nutter, meant to be leader of the free world, now trying to hand over a once-free country – savagely attacked by a criminal – to this very criminal, as if it were his personal property. We've already suggested he give up Alaska. Anyway, in the process, he's fulfilling another of Putin's expectations: weakening Europe. On August 21st, we asked whether he was fulfilling this murderer's demands out of love for him, because he himself would like to be such a tyrant, or whether Putin was sitting on a pile of kompromat – one of the classic communist and fascist tools, right up there with spreading fear and false accusations. Or maybe he's just a Russian agent planted in the White House? Buggered if we know.
   Let's leave this crap behind for a sec and talk about something decent.

   Indeed, we couldn’t resist a touch of literary flair. When writing ‘Starting with...’ and addressing our remarks to you, Americans, we initially wrote ‘Hello fellow Americans’, which reminded us of ‘Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears...’ from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar in a speech by Mark Antony; a speech used to build rapport with the crowd (or call it a mob). Antony's goal was to get the mob on his side and set them on Brutus. Finally, we decided to go for something with a tiny Shakespearean flavour, if we may say so, 'American Friends and Lovers of Art...'
   Let us answer the gentleman from Wales with a question: is there not a parallel between Mark Antony talking Brutus down with pure rhetoric, and artists using creative licence to throw the spotlight on a right nutter who deserves it?

22 November 2025

proper kremlin agent ticking off the orders

   Yesterday – well, not for the first time, mind you – we raised the question: is this right nutter actually besotted with the war criminal and dictator because he wishes he could be just like him, or is he simply a cunningly planted agent working for the bloke out of the Kremlin and parked in the White House? There’s yet another possibility that struck us, the artists, just yesterday, like a bolt from the blue; we were properly shaken by the ultimate betrayal of freedom, democracy, and everything that’s meant to be the bedrock of the Free World – including America itself – when we read about that disgraceful ‘peace plan’ for Ukraine. We mean, it’s basically Putin’s wishlist, not a peace plan at all! ‘Here you go, Kremlin mate, you get everything you ever wanted, and as for me – hey, you idiots out there in Europe, serve up my Nobel, and afterwards you can all go hang yourselves!’

   That brings us to that old Soviet saying: ‘The capitalists will sell us the rope with which we will hang them’ – a line he clearly knows and is happily putting to use against Europe. After all, a key part of the communist playbook was exploiting the West’s ‘useful idiots’ – usually intellectuals backing Soviet interests, not realising they were being played like mugs.

   Of course, your real halfwit’s no intellectual, heaven forbid – he’s a proper greedy loony, willing to do anything, no matter how dirty, just to grab even more dosh and bask in the TV spotlight, even if that moment is stupider than he is and only ends in ridicule and embarrassment. Not that he cares – so long as his fans, increasingly brainless, keep hollering in awe.

   So, in our epiphany, we've realised that he actually combines all those traits – a bit of a phenomenon, you’ve got to admit: greed enough to sell himself out to anyone, even at the cost of America and the Free World; stupidity enough that ‘useful idiot’ takes on a whole new, cosmic meaning; obsessed with every despot, because he’s dazzled by absolute power; and, at the same time, a proper Kremlin agent, ticking off the orders.

   Make America Great Again!

23 November 2025

where have all the flowers gone

   Let’s leave this nasty world of news behind for a bit and come back to art. We already observed that this contemporary political reality isn’t producing anything of value – it’s nothing more than a dumpster. The so-called leader of the free world is floundering in that cesspool, while we, the artists, hide behind glass just to dodge the splattering shit. And from behind that safety screen, let’s talk about an exhibition. But first, a word about protest songs – there was a time when pissed-off Americans marched on Washington, and Joan Baez was there singing We Shall Overcome. Pete Seeger was also there. One of these days, a new Barry McGuire will show up and lead the way with an updated Eve of Destruction.

   Back to the exhibition, titled Sag mir, wo die Blumen sind or Tell Me Where the Flowers Are – nodding directly to Pete Seeger’s Where Have All the Flowers Gone, showing the latest works of Anselm Kiefer, one of the most important artists of our time. Thanks to the collaboration of two Amsterdam museums, we get to see up-close what’s behind Kiefer’s long-standing fascination with Van Gogh’s art. What deserves special attention is Kiefer’s magical mysticism and his deep dive into Germany’s troubled history. His art probes cultural memory and mythology, explores questions of religion and philosophy, and confronts us with the difficult past, the human condition, and – through a certain sense of melancholy – reveals the cycles of destruction and renewal.

   Absolutely worth a look – especially for our mates across the pond.
   Besides, come on, it’s Sunday – chill out a bit! Grab your loved one by the hand and head out for a walk. And if you’ve got a dog, all the better – take them along!

24 November 2025

throw that loony right nutter in jail

   Monday – a new week kicks off. And, as ever, you’re handed a calendar to cross off the remaining days of this sorry farce orchestrated from the Kremlin – otherwise known as the second term. Proper bleak, that.
   Think about the millions of women and kids who this Moscow thug’s shelling day in, day out – dropping hundreds of rockets on their homes. Think about the innocent folks facing a brutal winter with no heat or power, ’cause that murderer Putin keeps bombing power plants, heating stations, and infrastructure nonstop. Think about the Ukrainian soldiers dying in trenches with no medics around, ’cause the bloody Russkies are hunting ambulances.

   And your so-called Leader (Führer in German) – goes and drops some totally fucked-up ‘peace plan’, which is called ‘scandalous’, and world leaders diplomatically say ‘needs work’. What work? Let’s translate from diplomat-speak: toss those bullshit docs in the bin, and throw that loony right nutter in jail. Two simple steps.

25 November 2025

ленин всегда жив, real 24 carat gold shithouse

   We mentioned the Ukrainian soldiers dying in trenches with no medics around, ’cause the bloody Russkies are hunting ambulances. But they are dying too ’cause they don’t have enough weapons and ammo, which that loony right nutter of yours refuses to sell them – not give, but sell! It’s a lie that America is paying for the war; it’s the Europeans who are footing the heavy bill. But he’s only interested in cash for himself, not for the American industry. He’s restricting supplies and blocking intelligence sharing – nothing but a Russian stooge. Now it turns out that he’s a full-blown communist; he’s demanding – even resorts to blackmail – the signing of this shitty ‘peace plan’ before Thanksgiving. This is also an old Bolshevik tradition of announcing some ‘success’ around the holidays. True, the communists preferred the anniversary of the so-called Great October Revolution, which never really happened; those bandit riots actually took place in November. But wait – since the White House is announcing a ‘plan’ written in the Kremlin as an ‘American’ one, a thanksgiving parade along National Mall for the heroes of the Great October Revolution might not be out of the question.
   It's time, dear Americans, for you to learn ‘Lenin lives forever’, preferably in the original: Ленин всегда жив. Soon the ‘new’ – meaning dismantled – Department of Education will demand this. Info for American youth, schoolchildren, and university students: take care, they will teach you a twisted Soviet version of history. Remember, the so-called Great October Revolution and its magnificent victory was actually a nighttime coup from late night November 6 until 2 a.m. on November 8, 1917, when the Bolsheviks attacked and arrested members of the legal government. Those bandits ‘captured’ the Winter Palace because it was 'defended' by a small female company. Clearly, disdain for women is in the genes of your so-called Leader (comrade priesidient, or in the original товарищ президент, or Führer in German – your choice).

   Make America Great Again
   PS Сделай Америку Cнова Bеликой

26 November 2025

bayes’ theorem

   Everybody stood up when Putin strolled into the side room at the Kremlin. He casually tossed his jacket on a chair, plopped himself down on the throne, and waved at everyone else to sit. ‘Pour the drinks,’ he ordered. He downed a shot of ice-cold vodka, chased it with some caviar, and gestured at the others: ‘Drink up and stuff your faces. We’ll work out next month’s plan over this sturgeon and caviar.’ The guests nodded in agreement.

   ‘Here’s the deal,’ Putin said. ‘We’ve been messing around with that fat moron for almost a year, and we’ll keep at it until we wipe out the rest of the Ukrainians and demolish whatever’s still standing over there. Power plants, factories, towns, houses, hospitals – wipe it all out. Come spring, the only thing left will be ruins and corpses.’ He raised his glass:
   Za zdorovye!

   ‘You two,’ he pointed at the officials, ‘park your butts and write up a peace plan. It should have everything we want and nothing Ukrainians might want. And ship it off to Washington. Go!’
   ‘Maybe,’ the foreign minister ventured, ‘you could just call him yourself…’
   ‘Like hell I will! Tell him it’s my order to publish the piece plan as their own.’
   ‘Genius…’ someone started clapping.
   ‘And if he…’ someone tried, but Putin pounded his fist on the table: ‘No fucking ifs! If, then tell him we'll disclose kompromat and he'll go to jail!
   ‘What next?’ asked the minister.
   ‘What do you mean, what next? He’ll blackmail Ukrainians, squeeze them, give them hell and finally force Ukrainians to sign.’
   ‘And once they sign, we’ll sign too, and things will go our way,’ tried the minister, but Putin cut him off: ‘Idiot! We’re not signing anything – we’ll just demand more concessions! That’s politics! Always screw everybody over!’

   As artists, we’re not experts in politics, meetings behind closed doors, and all that crap. We can’t swear that’s how it went down, but honestly, it sounds plausible enough to us. Want to check? We recommend Bayes’ theorem.

   How about we just give that bloody ‘peace plan’ a rest?

27 November 2025

count us out

   Can’t say we’ll miss this political cesspit. We still owe that Malevich piece from way back, don’t we?
   The Russian avant-garde marked the establishment of modern art’s foundations. This process was inevitably influenced by politics. The Black Square was created before the Russian Revolution. In that same year, 1915, Kazimir Malevich published his first theoretical work on art, titled Die Gegenstandslose Welt – an immensely important book whose very title could serve as the manifesto for new art: The Non-Objective World.
   The Soviets quickly recognized the avant-garde’s power and sought to harness it for the propaganda machinery of their new order. Yet, they overlooked that Pegasus is not a draft beast; real art cannot truly be controlled. So, they suppressed it, centralizing authority in the Kremlin over all cultural expressions, controlling also aspects of human life. Hitler, too, intervened in art through condemning Entartete Kunst while also shaping architecture and literature. Both Nazis and Communists favoured a similar aesthetic a mix of rural festivity, bourgeois salon culture, and imperial grandeur – pompous and kitsch. They cherry-picked elements to suit their sick ideologies under the banners of the swastika or the hammer and sickle, resulting in stone chariots pulled by chargers and driven by half-naked yokels in honour of frontline tank crews. This was intended as the culture of the New Order.
   Religious stances diverged: Hitler’s soldiers marched under Gott mit uns signalling apocalypse, whereas Stalin demolished churches building his earthly paradise. Malevich’s 1917 White on White crowned his most creative period. A critic and friend remarked upon seeing the painting: ‘It is the last human breath; here ends painting’s empire and art evaporates into nothingness’.

   An event at the Russian State Tretyakov Gallery foreshadowed the Soviet Union’s fall. Half a century after Malevich's death, Brezhnev’s portrait was quietly replaced by The Black Square. Art had triumphed. Malevich was a troubled man, and his Suprematism was sort of a terminal theory – an utopia. The artist sought to reach the ultimate limit, to unlock the secret of death. Persecuted by Soviet authorities and misunderstood by peers, including hatred from Chagall, he died in Leningrad in 1935. Crowds lined the funeral procession route. Coloured Suprematist coffin rested on a car platform, adorned with The Black Square; mourners carried square wreaths. It was the final act of Russian avant-garde art – a tribute to independence within a totalitarian regime.

   His last painting is a self-portrait dressed as a Renaissance humanist: a sombre face gazing into the distance, the right hand bent at the elbow with a flat open palm at heart level, as if embracing something unseen. The thumb and palm gesture outlined an absent square, inspired by iconography – a universal sign, indicating the Way.

   Just don’t go mixing this up with that dodgy bloke of yours. If you lot want to dig something up, go right ahead. Key words: propaganda, control, centralize, kitsch. But count us out – this was about a true artist who believed deeply in art’s power and devoted himself to it, maybe at greater cost than he should’ve.

28 November 2025

thanksgiving

   Thanksgiving went by with him binge-eating in gloomy mood, chewing on that damn stuffed turkey. He’d have preferred to serve his pal Putin a special course – lead-stuffed Zelensky, straight off a golden tray. Cranberries optional.

   Make America Great Again!